Cleaning the House

So, things are getting tight around here. My job ended on March 14th, with a possibility of being resurrected at a future date. But the future, as we all know, cannot be predicted. And my husband's job ended shortly after we entered the year 2014. I should probably be freaking out but I'm really not doing too bad. For some reason I'm optimistic that we're just going through a temporary lull and everything will work out in the end as it should. I simply can't believe "the powers that be" ever want any individual to suffer more than they deserve and I think I'm a good person so there ya go.

Okay, so that was way too long an intro to this post. Recently we've been taking a long hard look at our house and the miscellaneous THINGS we have accumulated over the years when we both had good, steady jobs and lots of discretionary income. It's time to clear the clutter. Both my husband and I come from families that saved everything, passing them down to their children and grandchildren. That's us. Yay.

There used to be a show on TLC called "Clean Sweep" where a team of like three people would totally empty out a cluttered room in someone's house and teach them how to purge stuff. The purgemaster (my word) was a guy named Peter Walsh and I was in love with him and how he taught people to get real about why it was they felt they needed to bury themselves in possessions either inherited or purchased. That show was on right around the time my grandmother was downsizing her own place and my brother and I were getting van loads of stuff she wanted us to have. At the time I really thought I was in absolute love with everything she gave me and I was so grateful to have it all.

Then she died and my brother, sister-in-law and I spent a weekend in her condo to pack everything up, sell what we could, bring home what we wanted and donate the rest. Fast forward eight years and look at what I have to fricking dust:

An oil painting of my three-times-great-grandfather. It's gorgeous and in fact my husband built a mantel that he custom made just for that painting. It's staying.

My mother's 10-piece set of wedding china (she died when I was 10 and my grandmother saved it for me bless her heart). Very pretty and totally not my style. Apparently it's not anybody's style because it's been on both ebay and Craig's List multiple times with no nibbles. Same with tea cup and saucer sets, cream and sugar pitchers, finger bowls, etc. All these things are English bone china with very well known logo's. I guess people don't collect china patterns like they used to.

And don't even get me started on the Hummels. Between my grandmother and my mother I bet I have two dozen of them. I like them very much, but I really love only three and the rest have got to go.

A china cup commemorating Queen Victoria's Diamond Jubilee in 1897. And the one from when King Edward was crowned. He's the one who abdicated, so his brother George got the job. And I've got the cup. Then Elizabeth. Yep, I have her cup too. My grandmother had cousins in England and they sent her the cup commemorating Charles and Diana's wedding - the only one I'm interested in keeping, if just for the kitsch factor.

Oh, no! It’s almost 2022!

I’ve been a voter in Georgia since 1980 and I’ve got to get this off my chest. 

Georgia has 14 congressional seats and Republicans have held a two-seat (8-6) majority since at least the 2010 census. 

I think a lot of heads across the country exploded when Georgia voters surprised everyone by electing Joe Biden for President in 2020. 

Despite three (I believe) recounts, as well as several phone calls to the GA Secretary of State, election officials didn’t “find” enough votes to overturn the election results. Therefore, Biden was awarded our electoral college votes. 

Then, adding insult to injury, Georgians elected democrats to fill our two Senate seats, in January of 2021. 

So, what did Georgia GOP officials do? Why, they created a new statewide districting map, increasing their majority from two seats to four (9-5). 

They will not tolerate a repeat of 2020. 

As a voter who selects the Democratic candidate over the Republican more often than not in state elections, losing is not new to me. It’s part of my “blue dot in a red state” life. After a good pout, I shrug and say, “You can’t win ‘em all”. 

In 2021 the Georgia GOP replied, “Hold my beer.”

 

Nope. Not dead, just tired.

Wowza.

Still here.

I've got shit to share.

Soon.


Be well, people!

Yes, I'm Alive

Just not here. Apparently I'm not interested in my own self to even tell anyone else about me. Work has been excruciatingly slow so I spend many hours on Netflix, Amazon Instant Video and crafting. Y'all be well, OK? I'll pop back sometime soon, I promise. 

I've Got A Really Long Draft

But it is overwhelming me so I'm bailing. So, let's do a quick update. 

I might be depressed, I'm not sure. I'm not sad or anything I just don't *care* about much. Very strange, really. 

I haven't had a period in like 14 months. Menopause is interesting. So far I have had only one hot flash but I feel like I'm constantly just a tad warmer than I used to be. My skin is drying up, my gums are receding and black hairs are growing out of my chin; but I don't swell up and get cramps, my under eye circles are significantly less noticeable and I like only needing 5-6 hours of sleep. 

I want easily 65% of the stuff in my house to go away. Too much stuff, I tell ya.

Pete turns 15 in September. He's our awesome little dude.

Sarah Palin was on The Tonight Show the other night and she's too skinny. Now, I don't like the woman and never have but I hate to see any woman undergo the degree of change she has because someone probably told her she wasn't "enough" of something. Pretty or young or thin or whatever.

I'm gonna miss David Letterman but hope he will enjoy a very long, very relaxing retirement. 

I think Bruce Springsteen is aging backwards.

 http://youtu.be/fAqcpc4e6hU

What Do You Mean I Don't Have a Blog??

Egad, I haven't been here in forever! Blogger looks different and I actually had to struggle to find myself.

Lots to share and I'm gonna get to it. Just as soon as I figure out what the heck is going on....

What My Cats Teach Me - Lesson #2 Hope

In the Spring of 2002, one of my colleagues sent out a company-wide email about a family of cats that had taken up residence underneath her front porch. There was a momma and a few kittens but she was worried about one of the babies because momma used to carry her around everywhere and she looked very small.

I had a conversation with this girl and for various reasons - none of which I can actually remember now - I decided I needed to get this kitten to my vet where she probably would be put down (humanely versus starving or being attacked). I picked her up one night after work and, oh my, she was the tiniest little thing I'd ever seen. When I got her home I put her in a roomy crate with food, water and a little litter box. Two days later we went to the vet where it was discovered she had suffered a crushing injury to her lower spine. Both my vet and I fell in love with her and he convinced me to bring her home with me and try to rehab her.

Right.

I didn't take long to name her. "Hope", as in "I Hope she learns to use the litter box". 'Twas not to be.

Over the next five years, I replaced my wall to wall carpet with Pergo and spent my time at home washing waterproof pads which were on every piece of furniture I owned; laundered her soiled bedding; and learned to express her bladder and wash her bum multiple times a day. Interestingly though, I loved every minute of it.

She was the most loving cat you can imagine. You know how cats can be demanding or aloof (or both)? Never my Hope. So, okay, what did she teach me? To acknowledge and appreciate when someone is kind to me. To show my appreciation effusively (don't worry, I won't lick your face unless you are Bruce Springsteen or a cast member of True Blood). To recognize how good it feels to improve the quality of another life, be it person or animal. To greet each person I meet with kindness.

The fact that she survived for five years is pretty incredible according to my vet. And she died just as he said she would from a urinary tract infection that just couldn't be controlled. I still miss that little girl and am crying as I write this.

Six down, two to go

Here's a post from 2011 that I found in my Draft folder and for some reason was never published. Interestingly - to me, anyway - I still feel like this.

"The hubby has been in NJ since last Saturday, which means:

1. I've had the bed to myself for the past six nights
2. I only have to clean up my own mess
3. I don't have to turn on the TV if I don't want to
4. I don't have to worry about cooking a dinner that he'd like

Is it too obvious I like having the house to myself?  A lot? He called earlier while visiting a lifelong friend in PA.  He began the call with, "Honey you have to find a new husband, I'm staying here."

Really?  I *have* to find a new husband? What if I don't want another a new one? Geez, I was single for 48+ years, I think I'll be fine.

Not the reaction he was hoping for I'm sure.  I feel bad sometimes because I think he'd like me to be one of those women who would say, "Oh no, you can't leave me, I can't survive without you!!"  That's not me.  He just doesn't understand what a walloping big deal it was for me to marry him (or anyone else for that matter).  Marrying him was the single most powerful way I had to express that I loved him and had no interest in another man for the rest of my life.  I mean my God, he knows absolutely everything about me - more than anyone else on the planet - and he proposed anyway?  I'm gonna turn that down?  I think not.

The reality is no matter how much I joke about the things he does that drive me absolutely batshit crazy, I am exactly where I'm supposed to be and with the person with whom I'm supposed to."

Hey Big Pharma! I'm Hungry!

Drug companies seem to be very interested in getting in front of patients to try and sell their medicine, right? Usually they sponsor a meeting where they share FDA-approved slideshows of FDA-approved data for an FDA-approved marketing dollar amount. In my 18 months as a speaker for one of the pharmaceutical companies, I traveled to most everywhere east of the Mississippi to deliver my own (also FDA-approved) talk about my experience on a particular drug for MS. And most of the people who attended were repeaters who just came for the food. And I'll bet the money in any pharmaceutical company's Marketing budget for all these meetings can support a small country.

At this moment it is time for me to make dinner for myself and my husband and do you know what? I'm exhausted. Pulling out pans and mixing ingredients and serving up a meal is just not in my physical bandwidth right now. Not to mention cleaning up afterward, holy cow! I'm wiped out just thinking about it, really. So, we are probably going to settle for PB&J or a can of Campbell's soup (possibly even just a spoonful of peanut butter and some Saltines). Then something dawned on me.

I think the MS Community as a whole agrees that a proper diet goes a long way toward fighting the ravages of MS, right? So, consider this. You want to be different from all the other MS drugs out there? Think outside the box. Sponsor cooking lessons that teach MSers how to eat as healthy as possible with the least amount of effort possible. Sure, present your dog and pony show, I know the FDA requires that, but take it a step further. Help attendees cook their own meals to eat! Show them handicap-friendly utensils. Or even better, build a network of kitchens to cook MS-friendly meals that patients/family/caregivers can order and either pick up themselves or have them delivered (like, to me tonight). Something like this would definitely call tons more attention to whomever did it.

I think this idea has a lot of potential, don't you? If a kitchen in my town would put together some healthy meal alternatives, I'd be first in line, no doubt.

Bye, Agnes

So, it's been one week ago today that we sent Agnes The Rescue Kitty on her way to wherever kitties go when they die. I am still amazed and disappointed by anyone who will abandon an animal they've had for the animal's entire life, leaving it alone and trapped in a filthy house.

I've located an address for a family member of theirs and I intend to notify them of her passing. But I'm struggling with how to word it without saying, "Hey assholes, remember your cat who you deserted? The one you told me to put down 3 1/2 years ago? Yeah well, she died. You happy?"

I might come up with an actual obituary-type thing, mentioning all of the funny shit she did when we moved her in with us. I really, really, would like to think these people still have some guilty feelings buried somewhere and, boy, would I enjoy bringing them to the surface.

Vindictive? Me? Yeah, OK, I'll own it.

So, let's see

what's been going on 'round here.

Well after being put on a drug holiday in November the predicted (by me) relapse in arrived in early January. Emotional mess, fuzzy vision that became double vision, walking issues that resulted in a couple of near-face-plants into floors and doors, the whole Magilla. One round of steroids reduced the severity of the relapse but didn't totally stop it. Second round of steroids in February finally shut it up but the recovery took the entire month of March, pretty much.

My mother-in-law, the drama queen, managed to scare my husband into making a visit out of state. As usual, his arrive prompted a turnaround. For a day. His next three days were spent listening to her berate him in whatever language she chose to use at the moment (English, Ukranian, Russian, German or a mish-mosh of each). He came home convinced he had seen her for the last time. As it happens, he was right. She'd been working hard to make death happen the past couple of years and finally succeeded earlier this week. Thoughts on that, in no particular order are:

- She can't manipulate him any more
- It sucks that she spent her last few years of life in a nursing home. That was her worst nightmare.
- I get the best, most restorative sleep when I have the bed to myself. Now that there are no more trips out of state to see his mom, my husband has no reason to travel. So, there go my opportunities for an occasional quiet night. Shit.
- It's interesting to me how I can cry at the drop of a hat to TV shows, abused animals and injured children but not to the death of a relative. Maybe because they're older and lived long, productive lives and should have no regrets? Notice I said "shouldn't" not "had no". If you die regretting something you did or didn't do, you have nobody to blame but yourself, don'tcha think?

Well, enough about that.

Agnes the rescue kitty is coming up on her 20th birthday. She's blind as a bat and might have 3 teeth in her mouth on a good day, but she's still an ornery, demanding bitch who still scares the dogs to death. She's amazing.

Next up: Why I Quit My Job as a Gilenya Guide. That's a multi-part post but it still smarts and is really hard to write about. Maybe if I could get my hands on a Valium or two...

I put this together today. My mom and the dogs she grew up with.

Nonsense, I suppose

My husband has this really annoying habit of calling people and leaving messages then walking away from his phone. So, when they call him back he's not around to get the call. Kind of makes me nuts, really.

On another note, I've got a couple of friends coming to town next month for a meeting and decided to make little happy gifty things for them. Here's the first one:

All told there will be I think nine of them. Different printed paper and colors for each one. However, each will have a picture or pictures with scenes from Atlanta history. Since I'm the only attendee at the meeting who actually lives here in Atlanta - and I wanted to do a little something for the visitors that costs little to no money out of pocket - I came up with this. Instructions on YouTube!

Because It's All About Me

During this recent MS flare-up and subsequent steroid therapy, I've had a lot of time to reflect. Control is a huge thing for me. Don't know where that comes from, it just is. Well, not true. I suspect I know where it comes from but it's not like I need a therapist to "fix" it.

When I'm working on a task - no matter how minor - and I'm interrupted, I get peeved. Which causes me a lot of internal stress. Which peeves me further. 

On the very short list of things I can control there is the telephone. So, I did some digging and found the code to stop my home phone from ringing. At all. Ever. My family, friends and creditors all have my cell phone. Charities, politicians and other people who just want, want, want...don't. 

I'm amazed how productive and relaxed I am without the phone ringing all day. 

What I Learned About People on Facebook

1. They're angry.

2. They're mean.

3. They can't spell.

4. Critical Thinking? What's that?

5. If it's on the internet it must be true...right?

6. They're selfish

7. and self-centered

8. and greedy.

Oh, screw it.

Sadness all around

I really feel sorry for the people who lost loved ones during the September 11th attacks. Duh, right? Not only for the obvious reasons; but now 12 years later, how do those people move on with their lives? I mean, they get 11 months of normalcy (as much as just being alive allows) then their losses are amplified annually to a level I simply cannot imagine. Yesterday I was pondering this and I couldn't help but wonder if any of them have just had enough. And if they are getting tired of it, do they feel guilty? What's it like having an entire country "all up in your business" for at least one day every year?

A childhood friend of my husband finds himself unemployed today for the first time in his entire adult life. Is he employable? Exceedingly! Is he over 50? Yep.

Another, more recent, friend of hubby was thrown out of his home by his wife of 30+ years. She has very, very advanced MS and between the disease and the truckload of pain meds she's on,  her cognitive function is really deteriorating. And their daughters - who have a beef of some kind with their dad - have convinced her their father is not taking proper care of her. I've been in their presence a very little bit since he and my husband have become friendly, I never witnessed anything but adoration when they would look at one another. Of course there are two sides to every story, blah, blah, but all I can say is this news saddens me and my husband is devastated.

I'm distressed at the politically-themed bullshit being posted on Facebook and sent to my email box  by people I really thought had more sense. Nothing infuriates me more than people who blindly forward emails and repost garbage without verifying it first.

My dogs won't eat unless I'm in the room all of a sudden. I don't know what the hell is going on with that nonsense.

And my cat Pete is throwing up a LOT and I can't afford the vet bill.

Jealousy, pride and politics

So my great friend Jeri has hit the Big Time! Her MS blog apparently has been catching some VIE's (Very Important Eyes) in the Biomedical and Pharma communities and she is now being invited to tell her story in person to actual really smart muckety-mucks at some heavily-attended meetings. Bitch.

OK, I'm insanely a little jealous. So what if I don't write as well as she does or have never met a cuss word I didn't like, I want to be invited too, I've got stuff to say too! (insert whine here).

It dawned on me over the weekend that for the first time I think ever in my life I'm truly excited for a friend who is succeeding and realizing a dream. It's a nice feeling to not harbor even just a smidge of animosity. Besides, I'm already exercising and building up grip strength in order to grab on to her coat tails. I'm not proud; I'll be her Girl Friday when she decides she needs one. I can be Rosalind Russell to her Cary Grant...except for the kissing part because that's not how I roll.

Oh, and look how cute this is getting. Romney & Ryan. Two Rs. R-squared.

Scares the Living Crap out of me.

Yep. Still here.

So, what have I been doing?

Well, July was a bust. At the end of June I caught a cold or something, leading to a REALLY sore throat and laryngitis. That became an ear infection, which turned in to a sinus infection. A week or so in to all that I found a UTI. Basically I was a f**cking mess and didn't leave my house for the entire month of July. Seriously.


I had been traveling so much for almost a whole year, I guess it just caught up with me. Since the heat of summer wasn't helping at all, getting out for some exercise was not working for me, either. So I figured if I was sequestering myself inside all day every day, I was going to spend my time playing with pretty things.

So I spent my time on stuff like this.

And this.

And this.

Interspersed with stuff like this (really now, how cute was I?).

I have to say, as I do this stuff I'm thanking God or whomever that MS has not taken away my ability to craft like this. I am a little slower at it and the lighting has to be just right, etc. but I'm pleased with what I'm churning out and it brings me a lot of peace.

Life's Harsh Realities

So, here we are on Mother's Day. My husband's mom is in an assisted living facility in NJ, and he's here in Atlanta. When he was a kid they lived in a really big house and both elderly grandmothers lived with them. Because of that both my husband and his mother believe that family should always take care of the elderly members. She is very upset that neither of her children have her living with them.

My husband left home in his early twenties, rarely visited, and doesn't understand why his mom isn't still living at her daughter's house, either. Keep in mind, he's 900 miles away and has been happy to let life in NJ go on with just the occasional phone call. Nor has he ever seriously considered returning and moving in with his mom to take care of her as she got older.

Now for the realities. His mom cannot sleep through the night and either wanders or stays in bed screaming. She cannot properly clean herself. She cannot walk without assistance. She can't prepare a meal for herself.

Hubby's moms overnight behavior makes it all but impossible for an adult child who has to work full-time.
Hubby's sister is in a townhome with stairs. Not safe for his mom.
The townhome does not have the space for live-in help.
Neither does our house.
Do you know how expensive a live-in helper would be? If one could even be found?

This woman is extremely well taken care of at this place and the staff is SO caring. It costs a bajillion dollars a month, but she's getting what she (and Medicare) pays for. I wish we had the money for a bigger house with an in-law suite. I wish I didn't have MS and could properly take care of her. But reality is, neither my husband, nor his sister, are able to provide the quality of care their mom is currently receiving.

Some realities just have to be accepted.

Why I'm Skipping a Springsteen Show

Any of my readers who know me personally know I've been a RABID fan of Bruce Springsteen since 1981. I have every legally released recording or video (and yes, some not-so-legal ones too), I can recite his life story from memory and, in fact, can probably look at a picture of him and tell you the year it was taken. Back when I had a job with a really nice salary for a single girl, I even hopped planes to see him in other states.

Now look, there are people who have literally taken weeks at a time to follow his tour through the US, Canada, even Europe; I'm not one of them. I'd like to think that means I'm relatively sane and still have retirement money, both of which are good things, yes?

His newest single was released last week and I'm very excited for the CD to come out. And yay, he and the band have announced new tour dates and everything which is way cool. My gosh, dude is like 62 or something and is still making relevant music. And he's still sexy as hell and hasn't lost much hair and can rock a pair of jeans (whew. stop.) and do three hour shows...but I digress.

Anyway, he's going to be here in Atlanta next month. Tickets went on sale and I didn't try to buy any. See, he is performing at Philips Arena downtown. Owned by the Atlanta Spirit Group, it is also home to our (mediocre) NBA franchise. These bozos wasted more than ten years and a shit ton of money in lawsuits over their third property, our (sold and moved to fucking Canada) NHL team.

If one were to Google "Atlanta Thrashers", one would find innumerable articles detailing the cluster-fuck that is this ownership group.

I'm sad to lose hockey in Atlanta, but I'm also bitter about the events which led up to that loss. And until those asshats are no longer beneficiaries of any Philips Arena revenue, I will not be supporting any event in the facility.

I'm sure Bruce doesn't care, but I feel better.

An Open Letter to Raymond

Hey, I've apparently done something to piss you off, but I can't defend myself unless you tell me what it was.

I'd seen you behave exactly the same way when you froze The Mitchell's out of your life.

At least you can't accuse me of being a bigot or homophobe; but you're treating me in exactly the same manner. I know for a fact, anything you can accuse me of is light years better than what they did.

Not taking my calls, nor returning my messages is just passive-aggressive and immature. I didn't earn - nor do I deserve - that.

Grow the fuck up.
  Anne