February 27, 2011

How I spent my weekend

Friday: Date night at the new, nearby gun range. My husband went by there after work. Neglected to mention it to me. Was I heartbroken? No, that's not something I yearn to do like he does, but if he'd told me he wanted to go I certainly would have gone with him. He thought he'd told me. Whatever. Jerk.

Saturday I slept until 11:45. Have no idea why; I didn't realize I was that tired. Shortly after getting up, the hubby went to the bank to learn he'd majorly fucked-up. It cost him $17,500. Don't ask. Needless to say, he was a real treat for the rest of the day. Jerk.

Today the hubby slept until 10:45, and arose in a foul mood. Probably mourning the $17,500 fuck-up from yesterday. He surfed the web until about 2:30, showered and is gone again. Jerk.

This is totally not what I thought marriage was like. I'm not angry or upset, just surprised and I think a little disappointed. It's a good thing I was single for as long as I was; I like having, and am very comfortable with, alone time. And I still have a lot more of it than I'd always imagined a married woman to have, which is kind of weird.

February 24, 2011

Sensation Seekers?

Once or twice a day I visit MSNBC.com and scan their headlines to see if something looks interesting.  Today, this one caught my eye.


So I clicked on it expecting to see a Top 5 or Top 10 list of movies too scary to watch. Well, the article actually talked about why some of us are attracted to scary or disturbing movies, and labeled us as high- or low- sensation seekers. 

I didn't need to read the whole article before determining I am a low-sensation seeker.  Whatever.  But it got me to thinking how much of that could be MS related.  Since my diagnosis, it has become more and more important for me to have as much quiet around me as possible.  A nice thing about working from home is I can control ambient noise - I don't have to have a radio or television on all the time.  I like sunny days because I like not having any lights on if at all possible.  The radio in my car is rarely turned on because I just like quiet. Sharp, unexpected noises?  Oy, that is a blog post in and of itself!

Before MS, I had a headset on all day when I was sitting at my desk at the office. Thinking back on that particular habit, it's hard to imagine ever enjoying it.  But you know, that's really ok.  I'm not missing out on anything, and being more productive, no doubt.

I think I've always been a low-sensation seeker.  MS has amplified it, but it did not cause it I'm sure.

Gotta go.  Oprah's starting...

February 22, 2011

I Just Can't Make This Sh** Up

Ok, so I simply had to check in on that MS Forum that I ranted about a few months ago.  Why?  I don't know, just feeling sassy I guess.  My overall moods have really on an even keel for several weeks so I figured what the hell.

It's a good thing I did because just today they really did a huge revamp of the site and I'm glad I saw it because now I'm thinking I might not be as comfortable there anymore but I digress...

So this user posts that her urine has been smelling foul [yes there it is, out on the interweb forever] and could it be the supplements she takes? She provides a list of what she takes and wonders if anyone knows which of them causes one's urine to smell foul.  While I'm reading her post, the voices in my head are saying:

"Why don't you Google each supplement and read the frapping side effects list?"  "You're *sure* you don't have an infection, riiiiiiiiight?"  and "Why don't you skip a different one each day until your pee stops stinking up the place?"

Then I realized, in my mind  each of those sentences actually ended with "stupidlazybitch", so I just logged off.

Stupid People

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February 21, 2011

Way too much excitement, thankyouverymuch

So on Saturday my husband had to go see a friend/client about an hour away from here.  This fellow owns a lot of acreage in a very rural part of Georgia and the guys like to do some target shooting because it's still so safe and relatively remote.  Our dogs like to go there too because they can run their butts off through all of the uncleared land.

While hubby was taking care of business the dogs were romping and playing and having a ball.  When it was time for gun play, the dogs were settled in to the back of the Chevy Tahoe with a snack and some water.  Normally, hubby closes the back of the truck, just keeping the window up so the dogs can sniff and keep an eye on things.  This time the hubby decided the dogs - neither of whom care for guns and one of whom has anxiety attacks with the noise - would remain in the truck with the back hatch fully open. [I have to remind myself sometimes how I didn't marry him so much for his brains].  So yeah, after shooting for probably an hour or more, hubby returns to the truck and . . . that's right, you guessed it . . . no dogs.  In a panic he calls for them and Bobo appears immediately, but there's no Maggie.  After about an hour of trying to find her, he decides to call me to say, "Honey, we can't find Maggie."

 I gotta say, I was extremely proud of myself that I didn't start screaming at him for being such a loser dumba** moron f*cking a**wipe.  I could tell by the tone in his voice he was scared to death and beating himself up.  Adding my displeasure was unnecessary and would have accomplished nothing.

Over the next five hours, I created a Lost Dog flyer with her picture, and emailed it to the Friend [he earned a capital letter].  Friend put his own cell number on it and printed about thirty copies, which he and hubby posted around about a 1/2 mile radius.  Just as hour six began, a neighbor spotted Maggie zig-zagging down the street, alerted Friend to her location where she was subsequently found.

She's obviously hurting but I guess that's what happens when one is scared and walking/running around lost for 5-6 hours with no food or water.  She's rapidly returning to normal on a treatment plan of cookies, kisses and NSAIDs.

Hubby has learned his lesson.  Hopefully the dog has as well.  And if either one of them does something as bone-headed as that ever again, they're dead because I will kick the sh** out of them.

February 17, 2011

I Even Bore Myself.

I haven't blogged in over a month now.  Not because I don't have anything to talk about but because I am just so over myself I hate to write about anything because honestly, who really cares about what I have to say about anything?

But I just can't bring myself to shut it down because going to my own blog is the easiest way for me to keep tabs on the other [wittier] bloggers I like to follow.  I'm not into the Google Reader or whatever the hell it's called.  I don't want yet another fricken web page to check every day.

Out of sheer desperation, I offer this.  I changed my profile pic to one that was taken a mere week ago, the newest picture of me on the internet ANYWHERE.  If I could caption it, it would read, "I Fought the Gray and the Gray Won".  In August I'm going to turn 50.  Fifty.  Five-Oh.  I think I look pretty good.  In person.  Still take a shitty picture.  Recently it dawned on me that I no longer give a shit. Not about the age, nor the hair, nor the multiple sclerosis.  They are just little pieces of the puzzle that is Me.