Is it Autumn yet? Please?!?!?

I gotta say, this has been just a hellacious summer for me.  Granted, it could be worse.  I could live in Texas.  But Georgia hasn't been much of a picnic.  I've been pretty sensitive to heat for many years now and even more so since my MS diagnosis. But I swear.  This summer has been the worst I can remember.  Ever. There have been days where I haven't even been able to handle the outdoors in the shade. I went for weeks at a time with not even leaving my house.  Thank God for the internet and my telephone or people would've forgotten I even existed.  Talk about a hermit, holy cow.

The past couple of mornings have been in the sixties and I feel like I've died and gone to heaven.  Labor Day is coming and I sincerely hope that'll mean the relentless heat will be winding down soon.

A little rain would be nice, but I don't want to be greedy.  Other places (read: Texas) need water worse than I do.  As long as it's not too hot for me to go out, I'll water the stupid plants myself.

I read it on the internet so it must be true. Right?!?

My friend Jeri posted a worthwhile message about something she found on an MS forum which is blatantly untrue.  A good read.

A Facebook Funny

My friend Christine had this as her Facebook status this evening. It is beyond perfect so I blatantly stole it.

"I saw this on another friend's post and I couldn't resist....WISDOM FOR SINGLE LADIES.....in the Bible, Ruth waited patiently for her soul mate, Boaz. While waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Drunkaz, Downlowaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz or Marriedaz! And especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz...PLEASE all you amazing single ladies…wait on your Boaz!!! :)"

Ran Across a Word I Used to Know and Forgot I Ever Knew It Let Alone Used to Use It Regularly

So I get the latest issue of New York Magazine and there's a little section on summer shoes.  Specifically, espadrilles.  Remember in the late '70s - early '80s when they were fashion necessities for all the young preppies?  While my clothing sensibilities have always leaned toward grunge [pre-Kurt Cobain and the Seattle music scene it was actually called "sloppy"], my sister was all about the preppy.

In my early twenties I worked for a guy who owned a couple of Dottie Smith and Pappagallo oh hell, another word I'd forgotten about stores in Georgia and Florida. It was there where I became well-versed in preppy fashion.



So, now those stupid words are going to be floating around inside my head for at least the rest of the day.  Yay.

BTW, when tracking down links for this post, I found seventeen hundred forty-nine thousand preppy-themed blogs. It appears that even though the brand names have changed, the lifestyle carries on...yikes.

Speechless

So I'm chatting with this person [which I'm known to do].  The situation doesn't matter.

THEM:  YOU have MS??
ME: Yep.
THEM:  My [insert noun here] died of MS.
ME [out loud]: Oh my, I'm very sorry to hear that.
ME [silently]: And why exactly the hell do you tell me that, asshat.




Thirteen years after diagnosis and I still have no earthly idea how to respond.

The Bacteria and the Traveling Lump

You know, part of the reason I don't see a doctor on a regular basis is because they can always manage to find something wrong with me and sometimes I am just. not. in. the. mood.

Two and a half years in the clinical trial [for the best MS medicine eva], and giving up what felt like copious amounts of blood and urine every three months [not to mention the EKGs, PFTs and MRIs], I figured if something untoward was going on I'd find out about it.

Well I met this LPN who has partnered up with an MD and opened a 'wellness center' barely a mile from my house. I generally would rather visit an LPN or a PA than an MD - and the price was right for someone without insurance - so I decided to stop in for an overall physical and girly check up.

I'm glad I went because the visit and exam was as delightful as one can be given the whole speculum part of the thing; and I left there a little more educated.  The first thing I learned was I can have a monstrous UTI with the only symptom being a stiff back.  I don't think of myself as particularly stupid but I really thought there would be more noticeable things like stink or discoloration or itching - you know, something that would really get my attention.  But no, just a mild backache. Sure I was tired as hell but hello, I have MS and I'm on a drug that lowers my heart rate and BP a little.  Sure I was having some trouble with my gait and muscle fatigue in my legs but hello, I have MS and it's 7,000 degrees outside.  Anyhoo, a blood test and a dip stick indicated a urinary tract infection so antibiotics were ordered and dear Lord, I feel like a different person.  In a good way.

The second thing I learned was that, given enough manipulation, a fibroid in the breast can actually be relocated.  Seriously, for years I've had this one long fibroid that grows and shrinks depending on my level of caffeine intake. If my tata where a clock this thing would stretch from 2 to 4. I pointed it out to the LPN who apparently felt the need to mash on it for what felt like twenty minutes; an hour later that little bastard had reshaped itself into a macadamia nut and taken up residence in between 12 and 1.

Of course I'm going to continue with the appropriate diagnostics and treatments and shit - and I really don't want to sound like I'm being flippant or anything - but I know my girls and they have been very high maintenance for my entire adult life and I'm really. not. in. the. mood.

By the way, if you find yourself relocating to Alpharetta, GA and you don't have medical, check this out.