He Says/She Says

Scene:  Me, sitting at the dining room table a/k/a my workspace.

Hubby: I only ask you to do TWO THINGS around here!  Stop leaving the cat food lids in the sink and keep your gun near you at all times and you can't manage to do either one!!

[Really? So I don't have to cook, grocery shop, do the laundry, clean the bathrooms, clean the litter boxes, feed the animals, etc? Cool!]

Me: Honey, for every cat food lid you find in the sink, there are at least two that I've already thrown out.

Hubby: And you don't get it, you just don't get it! You ALWAYS need to know WHERE the gun is, HOW you'll get to it and WHAT to do with it!!

Me:  Honey, I always do know where it is.  Because I don't move it I can't lose it.

DUH!!