February 22, 2011

I Just Can't Make This Sh** Up

Ok, so I simply had to check in on that MS Forum that I ranted about a few months ago.  Why?  I don't know, just feeling sassy I guess.  My overall moods have really on an even keel for several weeks so I figured what the hell.

It's a good thing I did because just today they really did a huge revamp of the site and I'm glad I saw it because now I'm thinking I might not be as comfortable there anymore but I digress...

So this user posts that her urine has been smelling foul [yes there it is, out on the interweb forever] and could it be the supplements she takes? She provides a list of what she takes and wonders if anyone knows which of them causes one's urine to smell foul.  While I'm reading her post, the voices in my head are saying:

"Why don't you Google each supplement and read the frapping side effects list?"  "You're *sure* you don't have an infection, riiiiiiiiight?"  and "Why don't you skip a different one each day until your pee stops stinking up the place?"

Then I realized, in my mind  each of those sentences actually ended with "stupidlazybitch", so I just logged off.


Stupid People

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February 21, 2011

Way too much excitement, thankyouverymuch

So on Saturday my husband had to go see a friend/client about an hour away from here.  This fellow owns a lot of acreage in a very rural part of Georgia and the guys like to do some target shooting because it's still so safe and relatively remote.  Our dogs like to go there too because they can run their butts off through all of the uncleared land.

While hubby was taking care of business the dogs were romping and playing and having a ball.  When it was time for gun play, the dogs were settled in to the back of the Chevy Tahoe with a snack and some water.  Normally, hubby closes the back of the truck, just keeping the window up so the dogs can sniff and keep an eye on things.  This time the hubby decided the dogs - neither of whom care for guns and one of whom has anxiety attacks with the noise - would remain in the truck with the back hatch fully open. [I have to remind myself sometimes how I didn't marry him so much for his brains].  So yeah, after shooting for probably an hour or more, hubby returns to the truck and . . . that's right, you guessed it . . . no dogs.  In a panic he calls for them and Bobo appears immediately, but there's no Maggie.  After about an hour of trying to find her, he decides to call me to say, "Honey, we can't find Maggie."
Maggie

 I gotta say, I was extremely proud of myself that I didn't start screaming at him for being such a loser dumba** moron f*cking a**wipe.  I could tell by the tone in his voice he was scared to death and beating himself up.  Adding my displeasure was unnecessary and would have accomplished nothing.

Over the next five hours, I created a Lost Dog flyer with her picture, and emailed it to the Friend [he earned a capital letter].  Friend put his own cell number on it and printed about thirty copies, which he and hubby posted around about a 1/2 mile radius.  Just as hour six began, a neighbor spotted Maggie zig-zagging down the street, alerted Friend to her location where she was subsequently found.

She's obviously hurting but I guess that's what happens when one is scared and walking/running around lost for 5-6 hours with no food or water.  She's rapidly returning to normal on a treatment plan of cookies, kisses and NSAIDs.

Hubby has learned his lesson.  Hopefully the dog has as well.  And if either one of them does something as bone-headed as that ever again, they're dead because I will kick the sh** out of them.

February 17, 2011

I Even Bore Myself.

I haven't blogged in over a month now.  Not because I don't have anything to talk about but because I am just so over myself I hate to write about anything because honestly, who really cares about what I have to say about anything?

But I just can't bring myself to shut it down because going to my own blog is the easiest way for me to keep tabs on the other [wittier] bloggers I like to follow.  I'm not into the Google Reader or whatever the hell it's called.  I don't want yet another fricken web page to check every day.

Out of sheer desperation, I offer this.  I changed my profile pic to one that was taken a mere week ago, the newest picture of me on the internet ANYWHERE.  If I could caption it, it would read, "I Fought the Gray and the Gray Won".  In August I'm going to turn 50.  Fifty.  Five-Oh.  I think I look pretty good.  In person.  Still take a shitty picture.  Recently it dawned on me that I no longer give a shit. Not about the age, nor the hair, nor the multiple sclerosis.  They are just little pieces of the puzzle that is Me.

January 02, 2011

All is well

Just popping in to report.  Had a nice Christmas.  Sat on my a** with an "A Christmas Story" marathon.

Had a nice 1st Wedding Anniversary the day after Christmas.  Sat on our a**es with an "American Chopper" marathon.

Had a nice NYE get together with a small group of friends.  No excess alcohol consumption by anyone - in fact, a full 75% of us did not have a drop of alcohol.  (My GOD we are getting old).  Didn't see one drunk driver (aka "weaver"), speeder, d'bag or sobriety checkpoint on the way home.

Weather's been pretty mild this New Year's weekend.  I am so much more productive when the sun is out!

Anyway, that's about that.  No drama.  No complaints.  Just peace.  I wish the same for all of you who happen by here.