Brave? Me? Not hardly!

So here's what level of Space Cadet I can be.  The drug study I've been in for over two years now - and the original reason I began this blog - is OVER.  I'm DONE.  I've been RELEASED from the cage and returned back to the world of the uninsured.

Interesting things I learned during this include 1) study patients are treated with a whole different level of respect than the average patient, 2) others think you're brave for being a lab rat and 3) human trials are a significant time commitment.  Oh.  And 4) while I have no regrets I will never do another one.

Regarding lesson #2:  You want to know Brave, talk to someone in a Phase One trial.  Now that's Brave (notice the first letter capitalization).  Phase One and early Phase Two is when they determine if the drug is gonna kill you fast.  I was in Phase Three which for this particular drug was done in three iterations.  I was in the third iteration of the third phase. At that point I think the pharmaceutical company was just killing time until the FDA would review their request for approval.  Not every trial works the same, obviously.  I'm just talking about mine which - in case you were wondering - is the first-to-market pill to treat multiple sclerosis - Gilenya.  I'd put the trademark thingy after the name if I knew how in hell to do that but it is owned by Novartis.

Does it work?  My opinion? OH HELL YES, I haven't had an MS flare-up since I've been on it and I don't have to be stuck with a needle to deliver it and the disease is pretty stable and I'm not dead, so yayfuckingrah. 

CAN I GET AN AMEN?!

Lookee what I did!!!

My very first ever in my life scrapbook page!

Today's dilemma and a question

OK so I have two dogs, right?  And they are very good dogs for the most part.  My primary complaint is - and always has been - that one of them [Maggie] is horrible on the leash.  She's a tugger and I'm sure everyone who has ever had a dog knows what I'm talking about.

Because she's so hard for me to control, I've just stopped walking her.  And you can forget my trying to walk both of them together!  Bo, whom we rescued when he was probably five years old, was trained extremely well by his original parent and is very well behaved on a leash.  Unfortunately, Maggie's bad behavior is rubbing off on him and he's getting less and less easy for me to handle.  So yeah, I don't walk him either.  The only dog I've had that I've been able to handle on a leash was Wags but he had to go and get sick and die on me the bastard.

So what we have now is two overweight dogs and a frustrated mommy.  Does the husband help?  No.  His answer is I must be doing something wrong.  So my response has been, "Fine, then help me walk the dogs.  You take Maggie and I'll take Bo and lets go for walkies."  That conversation has been repeated multiple times a month FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS.  I cannot even tell you how many times he starts the [weekend] day with, "Let's take the dogs for a walk today", but then doesn't get out of the damned bed until noon.  I cannot tell you how many times I've said to him, "Honey, my energy level is better early in the day, I can not/will not go outside and walk the dogs when it's eighty or ninety degrees outside."

So I've been interviewing professional dog trainers to help me get Maggie to where I can comfortably walk her.  Everyone I spoke to came to visit [for free] to meet with me and the mutts, gave me their training recommendations, fees, etc.  Believe me, they are damned expensive.  Hubby started yelling at me when I told them what I'd been up to, repeated the same lecture about how I'm not doing it right and he'll work with me every evening starting tonight.  Let's just say I'm not holding my breath and I haven't canceled the lesson [my money, not household money] I've scheduled for next week.

I am alone with these dogs for the vast majority of each week, including weekends.  I'm tired of waiting for him to make time for myself and the dogs.  If it costs me money, I think it's a sound investment.  Am I being unreasonable wanting to train my dog to walk with me in a way that is best for ME?  What are your thoughts?

I can't even come up with a title!

Talk about your ADD man, my brain has just been all over the place today. Hop on...

The sometimes cool part about having a right pinky finger that wants to spazz is when I accidentally open a link that lands me on a great blog.  Just found this one, she's awesome.

The sometimes shitty part about having a right pinky finger that wants to spazz is when I accidentally open a link that lands me on a great blog to remind me just how lame mine is.

I need a new layout for my blog.  Blogspot has been extremely uncooperative with me every time I try to change my layout and I can't decide if I want to a) start all over and dump my posts into it or b) start a new one and just link this to it or c) shut up and live with it.

Remember that show on A&E or TLC or wherever called "Clean Sweep"?  I need that.  I need Peter Walsh and a bunch of strapping young kids to come over and empty the contents of my GARAGE on to my driveway and help me with the Keep, Sell, and Toss piles.  Then, do the same thing in the offsite storage unit that we're paying close to $200 a month for because my husband can. not. part. with. any. damned. thing.  Then, the rest of the house.  Every inch.  Really. In my fantasy, hubby'd be out of state visiting his mother for like a month and I'd have like a dozen bodies at my beck and call so I could get this job done. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of my own shit to get rid of too, but his is teetering on the edge of a diagnosable mental illness.  I'm not lyin'.

I used to enjoy making greeting cards with the pretty papers and stamps and inks and embellishments, etc.  Over the years multiple sclerosis has just wrecked my fine motor skill in my hands and there are some things I just can't do for shit anymore; so I've decided to start directing my [meager] talents to Scrapbooking.  This weekend, some gal pals and I are gonna hook up a couple of times to work on scrapbook pages and I'm really looking forward to that.  The coolest think about 'scrapping' is I don't have to finish the whole thing at once; there are no due dates, they're just for me. Besides, I have THREE BIG BOXES of photographs that need new homes.

I have this uneasy feeling I've forgotten to pay a bill.

Finally decided on the gift for my nephew's impending high school graduation.  Now I need to find the birthday gift for a niece whose birthday was nearly a damned month ago (jesus).

Believe it or not, I've been working on this post for a couple hours, stopping and starting.  When I'm not here I 've been taking care of business.  I'm a multitasking fool today and am extremely pleased with myself.  All my responsibilities have been handled so now I'm going to eat something and the rest of my day is going to be spend doing stuff I like to do.  Not what I have to do.  Sweet!!

Happy Mother's Day!