Just Call Me Grace

An Open Letter to Raymond

2012-01-05T21:49:00.001-05:00

Hey,I apparently did something to piss you off, but I can't defend myself unless you tell me what it was.I'd seen you behave exactly the same way when you froze The Mitchell's out of your life. At least you can't accuse me of being a bigot or homophobe; but you're treating me in exactly the same manner. I know for a fact anything you can accuse me of is light years better than what they did.Not taking my calls, nor returning my messages is just passive-aggressive and immature. I didn't earn - nor do I deserve - that. Grow the fuck up.Anne

Is this ADD? Or menopause?

2011-12-14T01:45:00.001-05:00

I've got the attention span of a toddler. I only half listen to phone calls anymore and even after the rare one in which I'm fully engaged I forget details within a matter of weeks.I use the DVR a lot, and thank God they exist because I have to re-watch things at least twice before I finally grasp what the hell is going on anymore.I want to speed-read books like I used to, but if I try then I can't tell you what the hell the book was about. I don't seem to need 8 to 9 hours of sleep anymore. Five or six is about it.No matter how cool the house is, I'm overheating in the wee hours of the night. Not "drenching the sheets" hot, but hot enough to wake myself up.I lose crap all the time and it's damned annoying.Every time I clean up and organize a space, I can never remember where I put something when it apparently made perfect sense to me at the time I was straightening up.And I'm already bored with this topic.

Oh Damn, I Am Such a Slacker...

2011-11-25T00:52:00.001-05:00

...as it pertains to my blog.I was at the Totally Awesome Thanksgiving Baccanahlia at my Bro and SIL's place and her mom was there and we were chatting. [By the way, I love her and she loves me back and I really wish she'd move here but that's for another post].So anyway, she says to me, "Did you let your blog die? You haven't posted anything since what, August 30th?" I told her no, surely it hadn't been that long!As soon as I got home I fired up the iPad to check. Lo and behold, she was right. I had written a post in late October but never published it. Damn.Terry, thanks for calling me out about my blog and I will try to do better. Promise.

Is it Autumn yet? Please?!?!?

2011-08-30T19:54:00.000-04:00

I gotta say, this has been just a hellacious summer for me. Granted, it could be worse. I could live in Texas. But Georgia hasn't been much of a picnic. I've been pretty sensitive to heat for many years now and even more so since my MS diagnosis. But I swear. This summer has been the worst I can remember. Ever. There have been days where I haven't even been able to handle the outdoors in the shade. I went for weeks at a time with not even leaving my house. Thank God for the internet and my telephone or people would've forgotten I even existed. Talk about a hermit, holy cow.

The past couple of mornings have been in the sixties and I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. Labor Day is coming and I sincerely hope that'll mean the relentless heat will be winding down soon.

A little rain would be nice, but I don't want to be greedy. Other places (read: Texas) need water worse than I do. As long as it's not too hot for me to go out, I'll water the stupid plants myself.

I read it on the internet so it must be true. Right?!?

2011-08-28T17:07:00.000-04:00

My friend Jeri posted a worthwhile message about something she found on an MS forum which is blatantly untrue. A good read.

A Facebook Funny

2011-08-05T20:33:00.000-04:00

My friend Christine had this as her Facebook status this evening. It is beyond perfect so I blatantly stole it.

"I saw this on another friend's post and I couldn't resist....WISDOM FOR SINGLE LADIES.....in the Bible, Ruth waited patiently for her soul mate, Boaz. While waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Drunkaz, Downlowaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz or Marriedaz! And especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz...PLEASE all you amazing single ladies…wait on your Boaz!!! :)"

Ran Across a Word I Used to Know and Forgot I Ever Knew It Let Alone Used to Use It Regularly

2011-08-05T16:35:00.000-04:00

So I get the latest issue of New York Magazine and there's a little section on summer shoes. Specifically, espadrilles. Remember in the late '70s - early '80s when they were fashion necessities for all the young preppies? While my clothing sensibilities have always leaned toward grunge [pre-Kurt Cobain and the Seattle music scene it was actually called "sloppy"], my sister was all about the preppy.

In my early twenties I worked for a guy who owned a couple of Dottie Smith and Pappagallo oh hell, another word I'd forgotten about stores in Georgia and Florida. It was there where I became well-versed in preppy fashion.

So, now those stupid words are going to be floating around inside my head for at least the rest of the day. Yay.

BTW, when tracking down links for this post, I found seventeen hundred forty-nine thousand preppy-themed blogs. It appears that even though the brand names have changed, the lifestyle carries on...yikes.

Speechless

2011-08-04T20:16:00.001-04:00

So I'm chatting with this person [which I'm known to do]. The situation doesn't matter.

THEM: YOU have MS??
ME: Yep.
THEM: My [insert noun here] died of MS.
ME [out loud]: Oh my, I'm very sorry to hear that.
ME [silently]: And why exactly the hell do you tell me that, asshat.

Thirteen years after diagnosis and I still have no earthly idea how to respond.

The Bacteria and the Traveling Lump

2011-08-03T12:40:00.001-04:00

You know, part of the reason I don't see a doctor on a regular basis is because they can always manage to find something wrong with me and sometimes I am just. not. in. the. mood.

Two and a half years in the clinical trial [for the best MS medicine eva], and giving up what felt like copious amounts of blood and urine every three months [not to mention the EKGs, PFTs and MRIs], I figured if something untoward was going on I'd find out about it.

Well I met this LPN who has partnered up with an MD and opened a 'wellness center' barely a mile from my house. I generally would rather visit an LPN or a PA than an MD - and the price was right for someone without insurance - so I decided to stop in for an overall physical and girly check up.

I'm glad I went because the visit and exam was as delightful as one can be given the whole speculum part of the thing; and I left there a little more educated. The first thing I learned was I can have a monstrous UTI with the only symptom being a stiff back. I don't think of myself as particularly stupid but I really thought there would be more noticeable things like stink or discoloration or itching - you know, something that would really get my attention. But no, just a mild backache. Sure I was tired as hell but hello, I have MS and I'm on a drug that lowers my heart rate and BP a little. Sure I was having some trouble with my gait and muscle fatigue in my legs but hello, I have MS and it's 7,000 degrees outside. Anyhoo, a blood test and a dip stick indicated a urinary tract infection so antibiotics were ordered and dear Lord, I feel like a different person. In a good way.

The second thing I learned was that, given enough manipulation, a fibroid in the breast can actually be relocated. Seriously, for years I've had this one long fibroid that grows and shrinks depending on my level of caffeine intake. If my tata where a clock this thing would stretch from 2 to 4. I pointed it out to the LPN who apparently felt the need to mash on it for what felt like twenty minutes; an hour later that little bastard had reshaped itself into a macadamia nut and taken up residence in between 12 and 1.

Of course I'm going to continue with the appropriate diagnostics and treatments and shit - and I really don't want to sound like I'm being flippant or anything - but I know my girls and they have been very high maintenance for my entire adult life and I'm really. not. in. the. mood.

By the way, if you find yourself relocating to Alpharetta, GA and you don't have medical, check this out.

I'd Rather Have MS than Children.

2011-07-31T13:32:00.000-04:00

So I have this neighbor. She's really, really sweet, from the mid-west, in her early thirties with three kids under the age of 12.

She hosted a Pampered Chef party a few weeks ago which I didn't attend but I placed a product order online for something I used to have but somebody broke it so I've been without for a couple of years. I love Pampered Chef products. Have for years. But getting the stuff, either online or an in-home party, takes forfuckingever.

So I waited a month (!) and called her. She was out of state with her kids visiting her side of the family and was coming back last week and she'll call me when she returns and will get me my thing which has been in her garage apparently for a couple of weeks.

Friday 7/29 she'll come by around 7:00pm. Late that evening, she apologized, she got busy and rescheduled.
Saturday 7/30 she'll come by at 3:00. I get a text at ten-something that she's sorry, things got busy and she couldn't get by at 7:00 (?).
Sunday 7/31 she's supposed to be coming by today.

What keeps interrupting her and throwing of her schedule? What do you think? Fricking needy, life-force-sucking children. In case you're wondering, no I'm not sitting around here waiting. She has my phone numbers and each time she told me she'd be coming I asked her to text me when she was on her way.

There are no words to properly express how happy I am to not be a mom.

I Got Nothin'

2011-07-26T14:11:00.000-04:00

Here, read this. Use the potty first or you might wet yourself.

http://www.fetchmyflyingmonkeys.com

A Message to Facebook-ers

2011-07-18T15:18:00.000-04:00

If you send me a friend request and don't add a note telling me who the h*ll you are, you will be ignored.

If I look at your page trying to identify you [just in case you didn't send me the note referenced above] and you have over 1000 friends, you will be ignored [Really, how can one possibly keep up with that many people on Facebook].

If I know you and already know we have *nothing* in common, I will probably ignore you. If I don't want to offend you I will send you a note to very nicely explain why I'm not going to accept your request. If I don't even like you, you'll get nothing.

This is how I roll...

Do you really want to get married?

2011-07-18T14:49:00.000-04:00

This came in an email from my friend Mark. He got it from his niece. I have no idea what original sources this was cobbled from, but it really is laugh out loud funny.

Happy Monday!

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

You have choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
__________
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
__________
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
__________
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. Amen!!!!
__________
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
__________
A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
__________
A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
__________
Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.'
__________
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
__________
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________
First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________
'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'
__________
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'

Wait. What?

2011-07-16T21:49:00.000-04:00

Holy shit, it's the middle of effing JULY already! I am so sorry to the three people who actually read this mess, as well as to the few special people whose blogs I actually read. I've been remiss in reading and commenting as well as doing any writing of my own.

I'm a little scared by the fact that my calendar is filling with lots of to-dos all the way into fracking Labor Day weekend, my God. I think I finally understand my father now when he tried to explain to me as a kid why time flies so, so fast when one is an adult.

Didn't see how that was possible then. Getting it now. Damn.

Whatever, Who Cares

2011-06-24T14:07:00.000-04:00

June been bery bery busy to me. Can't even *tell* you how many times this month I've thought, "Oh, I gotta blog about that"! Then I don't get around to it and now I'm either sick of it myself or have forgotten why I thought it was worth a blog post to begin with.

The Atlanta Thrashers were sold to a mega-rich consortium of Canadians. Good for the team, bad for us fans because these rich a-holes want to actually have the team IN Canada, the bastards. It's all over the web, google it if you care, I finally stopped crying about it just a couple days ago.

Clarence Clemons, Bruce Springsteen's sax player and BFF for nearly 40 years passed away last weekend. It's all over the web, google it if you care, I'm still to weepy to even want to go there on my blog.

Novartis Pharmaceuticals flew me to Orlando for 2 days of training to become a speaker for Gilenya, their new-to-market MS pill. Made over 20 new friends that weekend and had a rollicking (read: exhausting) good time.

Hubby repainted our deck which means we're going to have to start hosting cookouts and shit. I love seeing our buds in a relaxed environment and all, but man there's a lot of prep (read: cleaning) to do around here first.

So this weekend I have one friend's surprise birthday party, visit to another friend in the hospital then visit a third friend who is currently undergoing radiation therapy for tongue cancer, which leaves him with enough energy to socialize for about two hours a week. Oh yeah, and attend a fundraiser for a local charity. Oh, and work for a few hours Saturday morning. Oh, and do some software upgrades to two electronic devices.

Ha! Let's see how I do...

Rich people are not the cause of a robust economy; rich people are the result of a robust economy. #RebuildTheDream via @TheCloris

Brave? Me? Not hardly!

2011-06-04T12:02:00.000-04:00

So here's what level of Space Cadet I can be. The drug study I've been in for over two years now - and the original reason I began this blog - is OVER. I'm DONE. I've been RELEASED from the cage and returned back to the world of the uninsured.

Interesting things I learned during this include 1) study patients are treated with a whole different level of respect than the average patient, 2) others think you're brave for being a lab rat and 3) human trials are a significant time commitment. Oh. And 4) while I have no regrets I will never do another one.

Regarding lesson #2: You want to know Brave, talk to someone in a Phase One trial. Now that's Brave (notice the first letter capitalization). Phase One and early Phase Two is when they determine if the drug is gonna kill you fast. I was in Phase Three which for this particular drug was done in three iterations. I was in the third iteration of the third phase. At that point I think the pharmaceutical company was just killing time until the FDA would review their request for approval. Not every trial works the same, obviously. I'm just talking about mine which - in case you were wondering - is the first-to-market pill to treat multiple sclerosis - Gilenya. I'd put the trademark thingy after the name if I knew how in hell to do that but it is owned by Novartis.

Does it work? My opinion? OH HELL YES, I haven't had an MS flare-up since I've been on it and I don't have to be stuck with a needle to deliver it and the disease is pretty stable and I'm not dead, so yayfuckingrah.

CAN I GET AN AMEN?!

Lookee what I did!!!

2011-05-25T14:54:00.000-04:00

My very first ever in my life scrapbook page!

Today's dilemma and a question

2011-05-11T13:11:00.000-04:00

OK so I have two dogs, right? And they are very good dogs for the most part. My primary complaint is - and always has been - that one of them [Maggie] is horrible on the leash. She's a tugger and I'm sure everyone who has ever had a dog knows what I'm talking about.

Because she's so hard for me to control, I've just stopped walking her. And you can forget my trying to walk both of them together! Bo, whom we rescued when he was probably five years old, was trained extremely well by his original parent and is very well behaved on a leash. Unfortunately, Maggie's bad behavior is rubbing off on him and he's getting less and less easy for me to handle. So yeah, I don't walk him either. The only dog I've had that I've been able to handle on a leash was Wags but he had to go and get sick and die on me the bastard.

So what we have now is two overweight dogs and a frustrated mommy. Does the husband help? No. His answer is I must be doing something wrong. So my response has been, "Fine, then help me walk the dogs. You take Maggie and I'll take Bo and lets go for walkies." That conversation has been repeated multiple times a month FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS. I cannot even tell you how many times he starts the [weekend] day with, "Let's take the dogs for a walk today", but then doesn't get out of the damned bed until noon. I cannot tell you how many times I've said to him, "Honey, my energy level is better early in the day, I can not/will not go outside and walk the dogs when it's eighty or ninety degrees outside."

So I've been interviewing professional dog trainers to help me get Maggie to where I can comfortably walk her. Everyone I spoke to came to visit [for free] to meet with me and the mutts, gave me their training recommendations, fees, etc. Believe me, they are damned expensive. Hubby started yelling at me when I told them what I'd been up to, repeated the same lecture about how I'm not doing it right and he'll work with me every evening starting tonight. Let's just say I'm not holding my breath and I haven't canceled the lesson [my money, not household money] I've scheduled for next week.

I am alone with these dogs for the vast majority of each week, including weekends. I'm tired of waiting for him to make time for myself and the dogs. If it costs me money, I think it's a sound investment. Am I being unreasonable wanting to train my dog to walk with me in a way that is best for ME? What are your thoughts?

I can't even come up with a title!

2011-05-06T14:10:00.000-04:00

Talk about your ADD man, my brain has just been all over the place today. Hop on...

The sometimes cool part about having a right pinky finger that wants to spazz is when I accidentally open a link that lands me on a great blog. Just found this one, she's awesome.

The sometimes shitty part about having a right pinky finger that wants to spazz is when I accidentally open a link that lands me on a great blog to remind me just how lame mine is.

I need a new layout for my blog. Blogspot has been extremely uncooperative with me every time I try to change my layout and I can't decide if I want to a) start all over and dump my posts into it or b) start a new one and just link this to it or c) shut up and live with it.

Remember that show on A&E or TLC or wherever called "Clean Sweep"? I need that. I need Peter Walsh and a bunch of strapping young kids to come over and empty the contents of my GARAGE on to my driveway and help me with the Keep, Sell, and Toss piles. Then, do the same thing in the offsite storage unit that we're paying close to $200 a month for because my husband can. not. part. with. any. damned. thing. Then, the rest of the house. Every inch. Really. In my fantasy, hubby'd be out of state visiting his mother for like a month and I'd have like a dozen bodies at my beck and call so I could get this job done. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of my own shit to get rid of too, but his is teetering on the edge of a diagnosable mental illness. I'm not lyin'.

I used to enjoy making greeting cards with the pretty papers and stamps and inks and embellishments, etc. Over the years multiple sclerosis has just wrecked my fine motor skill in my hands and there are some things I just can't do for shit anymore; so I've decided to start directing my [meager] talents to Scrapbooking. This weekend, some gal pals and I are gonna hook up a couple of times to work on scrapbook pages and I'm really looking forward to that. The coolest think about 'scrapping' is I don't have to finish the whole thing at once; there are no due dates, they're just for me. Besides, I have THREE BIG BOXES of photographs that need new homes.

I have this uneasy feeling I've forgotten to pay a bill.

Finally decided on the gift for my nephew's impending high school graduation. Now I need to find the birthday gift for a niece whose birthday was nearly a damned month ago (jesus).

Believe it or not, I've been working on this post for a couple hours, stopping and starting. When I'm not here I 've been taking care of business. I'm a multitasking fool today and am extremely pleased with myself. All my responsibilities have been handled so now I'm going to eat something and the rest of my day is going to be spend doing stuff I like to do. Not what I have to do. Sweet!!

Happy Mother's Day!

If you have an answer already, don't ask the damned question, ok?

2011-04-27T15:16:00.000-04:00

Husband: What are you thinking for dinner?
Me:: I've got the fixin's for beefy noodle soup, how does that sound?
Husband:: How about chicken scallopini?
Me:: I don't know how to make chicken scallopini.
Husband:: Oh, you can figure it out. Google a recipe.
Me:[Silently]: Oh, f*** you.

He Says/She Says

2011-04-15T20:20:00.000-04:00

Scene: Me, sitting at the dining room table a/k/a my workspace.

Hubby: I only ask you to do TWO THINGS around here! Stop leaving the cat food lids in the sink and keep your gun near you at all times and you can't manage to do either one!!

[Really? So I don't have to cook, grocery shop, do the laundry, clean the bathrooms, clean the litter boxes, feed the animals, etc? Cool!]

Me: Honey, for every cat food lid you find in the sink, there are at least two that I've already thrown out.

Hubby: And you don't get it, you just don't get it! You ALWAYS need to know WHERE the gun is, HOW you'll get to it and WHAT to do with it!!

Me: Honey, I always do know where it is. Because I don't move it I can't lose it.

DUH!!

Talk of the dog

2011-04-13T22:57:00.000-04:00

Talk of the dog

Sit. Stay. Read. Laugh.

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

2011-04-13T21:16:00.002-04:00

A beautiful day for a neighbor, would you...just drop dead you cheap-ass, whiny diva?

Yep, spring is here, so that means the annual bitch and moan fest is taking shape. See, I have been Chair of a neighborhood committee that is responsible for our swim/tennis property. I've been on this committee for, I don't know, FIVE MILLION YEARS or something. Trust me, I don't do it for my own ego. Just like every neighborhood in the world that has an Association, people generally hate us invisible Board or Committee members who force them to behave responsibly. I know, right? Go figure.

Anyway, we have two tennis courts, one of which is buckling because of a nearby tree whose roots have grown under the court area and broke through the surface during the few years of drought the Southeast went through.

This facility is cost-shared between us and another neighborhood less than 1/4 mile away, with combined homes of about 165 (not all of whom pay because just like everywhere else we've had plenty of people losing their jobs and either fighting off or heading headlong into foreclosure). Along with the tennis courts comes a nice-sized clubhouse (great room, tiny kitchenette, exercise room and his and hers bathrooms with sinks, toilets and showers), and a swimming pool with a 3-room little building to house the pump room and his and hers bathrooms with sinks, toilets and showers. Next time you're at a public pool, look around at what's there for you. Toilet paper and paper towel in the bathrooms. Trash cans with bags. Water in the (clean because the county inspects us every year to the tune of $350) pool. Pool furniture (chairs, loungers, tables, umbrellas) that's not falling apart. Gas grills so you can picnic. Cut grass. Pleasant foliage. No ants. You see where I'm going here? Maintaining all that stuff ain't cheap. Each home pays about $200 per year towards our operating budget (which is probably about half of what we all pay our neighborhood Associations in dues). We've managed to survive each season fine if nothing significant breaks. We were even so tight with spending for several years, we've managed to save up the money to replace the heat/air in the clubhouse when we need to which will probably be soon because that unit was installed around 1987. We haven't asked for more money from the two neighborhoods in like ten years. Because we can make do.

But we can't fix that tennis court. Because we've priced it. And it will cost close to $50,000 to get rid of that tree and replace the entire court area. [And that assumes we could even get permission to remove the stupid tree because apparently there is a teeny, tiny stream back there that some government dildo has designated a wetland and, therefore, protected.] Since out of 165 homes I can count on one hand the actual tennis court users - all three of them - I'm thinking we won't get approval for an extra $330 per household to fix the stupid courts. While I know "one should never assume", I do believe I'm correct on this issue. We've got one good court. Use it and like it, 'kay?

So, lady who came up my driveway without notice and said, "Every time we use the tennis courts the net is sagging and we have to re-tighten it. We don't mind doing it, but could you maybe consider taking some money off of our dues for us doing that?" Really lady, are you fucking kidding me?

Umm...no.

Start paying me for doing this stupid job and maybe I'll start to give a shit. Until then, you can get off my property. And on your way back down my driveway, kiss my lumpy, white ass.

Memorizing my life's trivia will not win you a prize, so don't bother.

2011-04-05T18:23:00.000-04:00

I literally schedule every minute of each day, including shower/primp, laundry, critter feeding times, lunch, etc. That doesn't mean I don't multitask, it simply helps prevent me from getting off-track. Borderline anal behavior I know, but I've found if I don't do it - and adhere to it - my day will spin out of control and that really pisses me off.

No, my dear husband whom I love, I will not stop what I'm doing immediately to take an inventory of every burned-out light bulb in the house because you want to stop by Home Depot on your way home tonight. You've had plenty of time to get light bulbs since I first asked you back in fucking January. It's not my fault that more have gone out in the last three months.

This cat that my former friends abandoned is still here and doing fine but barfs every. fucking. day. Of course she can't help it and all but that doesn't mean I find it particularly enjoyable.

Be advised, if you are an asshole when dealing with customer service people, either in person or on the phone, you will die a lonely and unloved individual.

You are not the center of the universe, none of us are. If your parents told you otherwise, they were mistaken. Deal with it.

If you think you are such an outstanding driver that you can text at the same time, you're wrong. Really.

Just because I work from home, neighbor/solicitor/friend/family, that doesn't mean you can show up and knock on my door without calling first, m'kaaaay? Please see paragraph 1.

OK, blogging time has ended. Time for a shower now.

P.S I watched the first two episodes of "The Killing" on A&E this past Sunday night. It's really, really good and, yes, it is on my calendar.

I've Got the Music in Me Today

2011-03-20T14:37:00.000-04:00

A highlight of my week is always watching Sunday Morning on CBS.

This morning they did a piece on the songwriting team of Lieber and Stoller. For as long as I can remember I've been a huge fan of "oldies" music. Do-wop, Rockabilly, Chubby Checker, Dion (with and without The Belmonts), The Righteous Brothers, and so on.

The mind started to wander and I came up with a few songs which - no matter how many times I hear them - make the hairs on my neck and arms start to tingle.

Stand By Me - the original Ben E. King version is my favorite, but the John Lennon and Playing For Change versions are nice too.

Be My Baby - I think this song was the first time the world heard Phil Spector's Wall of Sound. I read an interview with Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys where he said the first time he heard this song he was driving and had to pull over with the power of Ronnie Spector's voice.

If Ronnie Spector had been a 14-year old boy, she would have been Frankie Lymon.

This Magic Moment - Jay Black had one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard.

Darlene Love - Christmas Baby Please Come Home in the early 1960's and All Alone on Christmas from the 1990's. The Wall of Sound is all over these two songs; and the later one also has the E Street Band!

Bonus: Brooooooooooooooooce. Not an oldie, but it sure is a shiver-inducer. On the studio recording of this song, Bobby Hatfield [the cute Righteous Brother] is singing backup.

Are You Serious: I May Never Be Allowed Back In The UK Again

2011-03-15T15:49:00.000-04:00

This is the way my blog looks in my fantasy life. Check it out but make sure you pee first so you don't have an oopsie!

Are You Serious: I May Never Be Allowed Back In The UK Again

Spring is almost here...

2011-03-13T16:33:00.000-04:00

...and I'm skeered. The past couple of days have been almost jaw-droppingly beautiful. T-shirts and jeans. Blue skies, with nary a cloud in sight. Nice breeze. Sounds wonderful and really is, I suppose.

But somewhere close is a slight rumble; the rumble of heat arriving. Deep South, sticky, wet heat. Not looking forward to that part of the season at all.

My dad's job brought us to Georgia in 1977. July 3rd to be exact. When we arrived it was raining, and continued to do so all day. It was the next day that we arrived at our new home. We weren't moving in right away because the moving van was going to take a few days to get from Buffalo, NY to Marietta, GA. But the woman my father was married to [a.k.a. psycho-bitch] wanted to clean the place to her satisfaction; despite the fact it was a new home and the builder already had a cleaning crew in it.

While she was maniacally cleaning, she wanted all of us out of her way. We couldn't actually go anywhere, we just needed sit around and not touch anything. And no, we couldn't help because we never could do it right. Pick any verb to substitute for "it", didn't matter. We were a bunch of sloppy retards I guess.

So remember, the majority of our stuff is still on a truck. Including furniture. Forty-eight hours prior we had been in New York where temperatures rarely saw 85 and our summer clothes, even at their lightest weight, were all way more than what the South requires. Oh, and for reasons I don't remember now, we could not turn on the a/c. All the windows were open, but unfortunately [and what 33 years here have taught me] there is very rarely a breeze in July. And it's humid. With lots of tiny flying things that like to bite. I spent quite a lot of time then in the middle of the family room floor in a spread-eagle position under the ceiling fan, sweating and panting and bitching. And I didn't even have MS yet!

Not really sure where I'm going with this. I was just going to mention how great the weather is today and how I'm not looking forward to late Spring and I just vomited up a memory from 1977.

Wait. Isn't it a sign of senility when one can remember the long past but not remember a phone call from last week? Oh, dear...

Monday Cuteness

2011-03-07T20:26:00.000-05:00

My dogs are slugs who should be embarrassed to be shown up by a Jack Russell.

Over It

2011-03-01T15:05:00.000-05:00

Finally, I am in the last three months of this drug study for Gilenya. All my penultimate and exit appointments have been made for each of the doctors/facilities involved. I've entered everything in to my calendar and I see there are three visits (multiple tests) this month, one visit a week for three weeks. April is going to be easy, just one visit to one place. May has three visits again, this time over two weeks.

While I'm pleased to have participated over the past two years, I am so. bloody. sick. of. doctors. offices. And MRIs. And eye exams. And Pulmonary and cardiac tests. And Dermatology visits that always involve something being sliced off. And Neurology exams. After May 16th - my last and final day - I don't want to see any doctor of any kind until 2012. Seriously.

How I spent my weekend

2011-02-27T17:50:00.000-05:00

Friday: Date night at the new, nearby gun range. My husband went by there after work. Neglected to mention it to me. Was I heartbroken? No, that's not something I yearn to do like he does, but if he'd told me he wanted to go I certainly would have gone with him. He thought he'd told me. Whatever. Jerk.

Saturday I slept until 11:45. Have no idea why; I didn't realize I was that tired. Shortly after getting up, the hubby went to the bank to learn he'd majorly fucked-up. It cost him $17,500. Don't ask. Needless to say, he was a real treat for the rest of the day. Jerk.

Today the hubby slept until 10:45, and arose in a foul mood. Probably mourning the $17,500 fuck-up from yesterday. He surfed the web until about 2:30, showered and is gone again. Jerk.

This is totally not what I thought marriage was like. I'm not angry or upset, just surprised and I think a little disappointed. It's a good thing I was single for as long as I was; I like having, and am very comfortable with, alone time. And I still have a lot more of it than I'd always imagined a married woman to have, which is kind of weird.

Sensation Seekers?

2011-02-24T16:07:00.000-05:00

Once or twice a day I visit MSNBC.com and scan their headlines to see if something looks interesting. Today, this one caught my eye.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/41630170/ns/today-entertainment/

So I clicked on it expecting to see a Top 5 or Top 10 list of movies too scary to watch. Well, the article actually talked about why some of us are attracted to scary or disturbing movies, and labeled us as high- or low- sensation seekers.

I didn't need to read the whole article before determining I am a low-sensation seeker. Whatever. But it got me to thinking how much of that could be MS related. Since my diagnosis, it has become more and more important for me to have as much quiet around me as possible. A nice thing about working from home is I can control ambient noise - I don't have to have a radio or television on all the time. I like sunny days because I like not having any lights on if at all possible. The radio in my car is rarely turned on because I just like quiet. Sharp, unexpected noises? Oy, that is a blog post in and of itself!

Before MS, I had a headset on all day when I was sitting at my desk at the office. Thinking back on that particular habit, it's hard to imagine ever enjoying it. But you know, that's really ok. I'm not missing out on anything, and being more productive, no doubt.

I think I've always been a low-sensation seeker. MS has amplified it, but it did not cause it I'm sure.

Gotta go. Oprah's starting...

I'm in Love

2011-02-23T21:48:00.001-05:00

Cute and wise and witty. My kind of guy . . . errrr . . . rabbit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXFv6JBdwsw

I Just Can't Make This Sh** Up

2011-02-22T23:33:00.001-05:00

Ok, so I simply had to check in on that MS Forum that I ranted about a few months ago. Why? I don't know, just feeling sassy I guess. My overall moods have really on an even keel for several weeks so I figured what the hell.

It's a good thing I did because just today they really did a huge revamp of the site and I'm glad I saw it because now I'm thinking I might not be as comfortable there anymore but I digress...

So this user posts that her urine has been smelling foul [yes there it is, out on the interweb forever] and could it be the supplements she takes? She provides a list of what she takes and wonders if anyone knows which of them causes one's urine to smell foul. While I'm reading her post, the voices in my head are saying:

"Why don't you Google each supplement and read the frapping side effects list?" "You're *sure* you don't have an infection, riiiiiiiiight?" and "Why don't you skip a different one each day until your pee stops stinking up the place?"

Then I realized, in my mind each of those sentences actually ended with "stupidlazybitch", so I just logged off.

Click Here For Images &
Stupid People Pictures - Pictures

Way too much excitement, thankyouverymuch

2011-02-21T15:04:00.001-05:00

So on Saturday my husband had to go see a friend/client about an hour away from here. This fellow owns a lot of acreage in a very rural part of Georgia and the guys like to do some target shooting because it's still so safe and relatively remote. Our dogs like to go there too because they can run their butts off through all of the uncleared land.

While hubby was taking care of business the dogs were romping and playing and having a ball. When it was time for gun play, the dogs were settled in to the back of the Chevy Tahoe with a snack and some water. Normally, hubby closes the back of the truck, just keeping the window up so the dogs can sniff and keep an eye on things. This time the hubby decided the dogs - neither of whom care for guns and one of whom has anxiety attacks with the noise - would remain in the truck with the back hatch fully open. [I have to remind myself sometimes how I didn't marry him so much for his brains]. So yeah, after shooting for probably an hour or more, hubby returns to the truck and . . . that's right, you guessed it . . . no dogs. In a panic he calls for them and Bobo appears immediately, but there's no Maggie. After about an hour of trying to find her, he decides to call me to say, "Honey, we can't find Maggie."

Maggie

I gotta say, I was extremely proud of myself that I didn't start screaming at him for being such a loser dumba** moron f*cking a**wipe. I could tell by the tone in his voice he was scared to death and beating himself up. Adding my displeasure was unnecessary and would have accomplished nothing.

Over the next five hours, I created a Lost Dog flyer with her picture, and emailed it to the Friend [he earned a capital letter]. Friend put his own cell number on it and printed about thirty copies, which he and hubby posted around about a 1/2 mile radius. Just as hour six began, a neighbor spotted Maggie zig-zagging down the street, alerted Friend to her location where she was subsequently found.

She's obviously hurting but I guess that's what happens when one is scared and walking/running around lost for 5-6 hours with no food or water. She's rapidly returning to normal on a treatment plan of cookies, kisses and NSAIDs.

Hubby has learned his lesson. Hopefully the dog has as well. And if either one of them does something as bone-headed as that ever again, they're dead because I will kick the sh** out of them.

I Even Bore Myself.

2011-02-17T21:50:00.001-05:00

I haven't blogged in over a month now. Not because I don't have anything to talk about but because I am just so over myself I hate to write about anything because honestly, who really cares about what I have to say about anything?

But I just can't bring myself to shut it down because going to my own blog is the easiest way for me to keep tabs on the other [wittier] bloggers I like to follow. I'm not into the Google Reader or whatever the hell it's called. I don't want yet another fricken web page to check every day.

Out of sheer desperation, I offer this. I changed my profile pic to one that was taken a mere week ago, the newest picture of me on the internet ANYWHERE. If I could caption it, it would read, "I Fought the Gray and the Gray Won". In August I'm going to turn 50. Fifty. Five-Oh. I think I look pretty good. In person. Still take a shitty picture. Recently it dawned on me that I no longer give a shit. Not about the age, nor the hair, nor the multiple sclerosis. They are just little pieces of the puzzle that is Me.

All is well

2011-01-02T15:03:00.001-05:00

Just popping in to report. Had a nice Christmas. Sat on my a** with an "A Christmas Story" marathon.

Had a nice 1st Wedding Anniversary the day after Christmas. Sat on our a**es with an "American Chopper" marathon.

Had a nice NYE get together with a small group of friends. No excess alcohol consumption by anyone - in fact, a full 75% of us did not have a drop of alcohol. (My GOD we are getting old). Didn't see one drunk driver (aka "weaver"), speeder, d'bag or sobriety checkpoint on the way home.

Weather's been pretty mild this New Year's weekend. I am so much more productive when the sun is out!

Anyway, that's about that. No drama. No complaints. Just peace. I wish the same for all of you who happen by here.

North Point's iBand - A Must Watch!!

2010-12-24T13:45:00.000-05:00

The Braniac has Left the Building

2010-12-10T14:13:00.000-05:00

I've had my propeller cap on all day and it's snug and getting tighter because my head is actually swelling because I've been kicking some major geek-a** projects (I rawk). So, the hat's coming off, I'm gonna eat some lunch, then pull together some (fun electronic) things to sell after having discovered them buried deep in the closet while hunting for Christmas socks.

Test results...

2010-12-02T15:23:00.000-05:00

...conclude, with 100% accuracy, that I can update my blog using my brand new (early Christmas from husband) iPad. Boo-yah!

This is a test. It is only a test.

2010-12-01T14:24:00.000-05:00

Let's see...

Thankful.

2010-11-29T10:33:00.001-05:00

Over the past week or two, everybody seems to be giving thanks for one thing or another. Yea it was the Thanksgiving holiday and all that but it seemed every television commercial, local newscast and web page wanted to know, "What are you thankful for this holiday season?"

Everybody is thankful for family and friends. I get it although it is a bit vague and redundant [kind of like when a beauty pageant contestant wants "world peace"]. I heard a lot of "I'm thankful for my life" which is just a cop-out. What? That you're alive? What? More specifics, please.

I somehow managed to not have to share my list, because it's pretty long and I can't always recite it off the top of my head. Yesterday it dawned on me that [D'oh] I have this blog, a place where I can record shit and don't have to remember the details. I can just refer people here! And I can add things anytime I want, simply by editing. Sweet! So, here is the list - Version 1 - as of this moment (in no particular order):

- I have a roof over my head
- I don't have a mortgage
- My brother and I get along and I trust him implicitly
- My sister and I get along and I trust her implicitly
- Said siblings both have great kids whom I love *and* like
- I have phenomenal neighbors and we all have keys to each others' homes
- My husband is working
- I know a shitload of nice people
- I had the funds to make my car payment this month
- The course of my life with multiple sclerosis does *not* include unrelenting pain
- My husband loves to wash the floors
- My brother and his wife invite us to their Thanksgiving bacchanalia every year and she is the best cook on the planet
- On Thanksgiving Day - out of nowhere - my 13 year old niece gave me a big, long hug
- Sometimes I recognize my grandmother in myself
- Sometimes I recognize my dad in my brother
- The pantry is full of food
- I have clean water to drink

Now, I've got some leftovers to tackle!

Not appealing

2010-11-09T12:30:00.000-05:00

Dear ASPCA,

Thanks for the emails and calendars and greeting cards and return address labels and shit. Think your money could be better spent elsewhere though. Anyway I gotta tell ya, when you send me an email titled "Heartbreak for the Holidays", with an attachment? Not appealing.

Luckily the Delete button is easy to reach. I'm just sayin'.

Cordially,

One who will not be guilted or depressed into giving you money

Just not feeling it. [Lots of f-bombs]

2010-11-08T17:15:00.000-05:00

Dear [unnamed MS forum],

Back in 2005, the New York Times magazine did a small article on you, and how you were something new and unseen. A place where patients were sharing their most intimate medical information with total strangers and detailing the course of their disease. Fascinating, loaded with real-world experiences with tests, procedures, drugs and doctors. At the time, it was a source of really good information [I learned about clinical trials] and if anyone appeared to be gaining financially by recommending a product, they were promptly booted off the site. It was also known that our information would occasionally be aggregated and sold to a pharmaceutical company. Nothing personal, just some patient stats. Hey, this is a very well-run, robust forum, they've got to make money somehow, right?

When I signed up I believe there were about 7,000 or so members. Today there are over 22,000. But apparently there are barely over 700 who are what's called Three Star members. Three star members are those who are reporting things like sex, age, height, weight, prescription and non-prescription therapies, lifestyle changes, stuff like that. In other words, the stuff that can be aggregated and put into a report for a customer to analyze. That's 0.032% of the total population of users. So, what are the other members doing?

Bitching
Whining
Obsessing about every. little. thing.
Asking the same questions over and over, ad nauseum [there is a search box where you can find every single post with a word or phrase in it but does anyone use it? Apparently not.]

Like this [Posts are real, Responses are mine]:

P: How Much Pain Can MS Cause?
R: I have pain when I do something I know better than to do like move furniture but I don't think MS has anything to do with it.

P: Vertigo Has Entered the Picture
R: And...what??

P: My Spouse/Family/Friends Don't Support Me
R: Well honey, I've read back through your posts here and I gotta tell ya, if you behave around your spouse/family/friends the way you behave on this web site, I'd drop your whiny ass off at a bus stop on my way out of town, I mean holy shit!!

P: Scared to Exercise Now
R: So you had a relapse after walking miles. And that much walking is a rare occurrence for you. Really? Howzabout this: DON'T FUCKING WALK FOR MILES IF YOU'RE NOT USED TO IT. What are you, stupid?

And today's winner is:
P: Oh My GOD!!! It hurts sooo bad!!
R: Oh for fuck's sake, obviously not that bad because you can STILL TYPE!

Yes, MS is different in everyone. That is true. But I really, really, really believe it's worse in those who don't stand up to it. By that I mean, deal. DEAL. Whining, anger and pity parties are complete wastes of time and ultimately get you NOWHERE. So, stop. Cut it out. Enough.

It's a shame and I feel bad for the poor moderator. This site is more painful than an afternoon at Chuck-e-Cheese. Well, maybe not. I think kids at Chuck-e-Cheese are better behaved.

Just because.

2010-11-04T19:47:00.000-04:00

I don't say this enough. I love my husband, he's a good man and I'm lucky to have him. [Doesn't mean he can't piss me off sometimes, though].

You can go now, thanks for stopping by.

2010-10-08T19:12:00.001-04:00

Wow, I've just had my feelings hurt.

More than they have in a very, very long time.

And it sucks.

And I'm trying to cry a little, just so the headache goes away.

And I'm trying not to let it ruin my night.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one (some cussin' in here)

2010-09-29T15:12:00.002-04:00

My favorite MS blogger on the planet, Jeri, posted a thought provoking brain dump the other day. She put into words something I've has issues with for quite some time. In a nutshell: why do so many people with MS seem to relish negativity?

Like Jeri, I was also a pretty active contributor to an MS forum. In fact, this particular one I'm going to bitch about is where I found her, but I don't want to wander off topic...

The day of the announcement that the FDA had approved the drug I've been lab-ratting for the past 18 months (Gilenya), a friend of mine said, "Hey are you going to put that on your MS forum?" (My forum? Where's my revenue?) Actually, I had thought about it for about a nanosecond and already decided that no I wouldn't. I knew a discussion would immediately follow, decrying the drug as "too unknown", "too new", "too many side effects", blah, blah, blah. I was not going to be the poster that began the discussion! No surprise, someone else did.

This particular forum has a search box where one can type a keyword and get returned every. single. post. having the word in it. I will guaran-damn-tee you, none of these naysayers did that. If they had, they would have seen hundreds of posts, going back several years, written by folks like me and Jeri and many others who detailed our individual experiences as lab rats for Gilenya. They would have the ability to hear lots of opinions - good and bad - from patients who actually took the flipping drug.

Instead, they choose to bad-mouth it by simply reading the patient information pdf on Gilenya's web page. Well honey, have any of you read the patient information things that come with every prescription? They often read like a horror novel (novella?). I'm amazed that anyone would take any prescription med of any kind after reading that shit.

But we do take prescription meds, don't we? Because we want help and relief so badly from whatever ails us, we are willing to risk (potential) side effects.

So, my message to the naysayers is this. If you don't think a drug is right for you then don't take it, I don't give a shit. And if questioned, simply say, "I don't think it's right for me." But if you go on to condemn something of which you have no first-hand knowledge or experience, then do me a favor? Shut the fuck up.

Germy germs

2010-09-20T17:20:00.001-04:00

So on Friday the husband gets home from work around dinner time and gives me a kiss then says, "We shouldn't be kissing right now, Mark was out sick today and I think he passed me something."

Really? Share that after the kiss? Wouldn't before have been a little smarter? And why are you kissing Mark?

Of course, by bedtime last night I could feel a sore throat coming on. "Honey," I said "how long was Mark sick before he called out? Did he say anything about his throat being sore?" The husband replies, "I don't remember but my throat was bothering me most of last week."

Really? And it didn't dawn on you until Sunday [when I had to ask] to say anything?

You know where this is going. This morning the throat was sore and dry, accompanied by the sniffling and coughing that are trying to take up residence in my head and chest.

I guess it's just being a Monday...

I'm baaaaaaaaacccckkkk!!!!

2010-09-17T18:45:00.000-04:00

Well ok, I didn't really go anywhere, I've just been feeling really good and able to do a lot of cool, fun stuff. It's kind of almost . . . oh, I don't know . . . having a LIFE or something.

Back in February or March I mentioned that I'd gone back to drinking Reliv shakes after many years off. They were first introduced to me very shortly after my MS diagnosis [twelve years ago holy shit] and I didn't really see how they were benefiting me. They certainly weren't hurting me but for the price I really wanted to feel something drastic. Now that I've been feeling so not so good for a couple of years now I figured what the hell, I'll give 'em another try.

Well. My appetite is reduced, my fatigue is basically a non-issue, my depression has lifted [didn't realize just how depressed I was until I wasn't anymore], my vision is sharper, my legs are stronger, I'm getting biceps [!], my skin looks great, the circles under my eyes are diminished, no more PMS and my brain power is returning.

One significant side effect, though. My nails and hair grow like gangbusters. My husband keeps absconding with the nail trimmers and I have to shave my legs every frikking day now.

Life is good. Busy. But good. I even wear out the dogs.

Noteworthy events

2010-07-04T13:56:00.002-04:00

Some little things that deserve to be mentioned:

June 19th of this year marked the 12th anniversary of my MS diagnosis. According to some 'standards' I should be using a cane by now. HA! Not this chicky! Yet another example of my non-conformity, of which I am proud.

June 26th was my six-month wedding anniversary.

Remember Agnes, the rescue kitty? Well, she has adopted us as her own, which is good for her because nobody else wants a 15 year old cat. She's very affectionate without being obnoxious about it. Around the new year Bo (the husband not the dog) decided that she was cool and did not have to stay caged up all the time. Nowadays Agnes has free run of the house until bed time when she has to go back into the condo overnight. With cats being the nocturnal beasts they are, letting her wander freely around the house all night means the other animals don't get any sleep. Which in turn means we humans don't either. And mama (me) needs her sleep!

OK well, it's July Fourth. Time to get ready for the Independence Day bacchanalia. Have fun and be safe!

P.S. Caught "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" on cable last night. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I knew it couldn't totally suck because it came from the mind of Kevin Smith (Dogma is one of my favorite movies of all time), but it was actually better than I'd hoped it would be. Terrific soundtrack, too! **Note to brother and SIL: You guys will not like it.

P.P.S. Also watched something called Choke. Offbeat for sure, but had quite a lot of humor in it. I thought, anyway. **Note to brother and SIL: quite sure you wouldn't like this one either.

Meltdown

2010-06-30T21:14:00.002-04:00

OK, for years I've been buried in paper. Mail, HOA crap (because once you get on a Homeowner's Association board or committee you can never seem to get off), stock broker statements, magazines, catalogs, blah, blah. Stack upon stack of stuff that all needs to be either read or filed "one of these days". I go thru this box every 4-6 months or so and always manage to make a nice dent in it. Unfortunately, shit just keeps coming. I have not seen the bottom of the box in probably four years.

What's going on now is, as my life changes, the kind of stuff coming in also changes. Most of what I call "new" stuff has to be kept and filed. because it pertains to my new business. Well, with the volume of old stuff still waiting to be dealt with, and the new stuff arriving almost daily, now I'm losing the new stuff amongst the old stuff.

This evening, when (unsuccessfully) looking for something I swear I'd had in my hand an hour before, I reached my limit of stuff. Simply. Could. Not. Deal.

I isolated June stuff and put it to the side. Then I took the box - one of those cardboard Banker's boxes one can buy in bulk at any office supply store - and dumped the whole bloody thing in the trash bin.** Then I emptied both litter boxes on top. Before the next trash pick-up day (Tuesday), I'll pour a liquid of some kind (about-to-be-spoiled-milk would be perfect) over everything. If anyone want to burrow through it, I wish 'em the best.

I have a big bottle of Clorox Cleaner with Bleach and a hose for after the trash truck leaves. So, cleaning up after my meltdown will be easy. And, neither of those will ever need to be filed!

I can see the bottom of the box now! Shortly I'm going to break it down flat and put it in the recycle bin and send it to cardboard heaven. Man, am I gonna sleep good tonight!

**If you're concerned about what I did, rest assured there are no uncashed or blank checks, credit cards, prescription drugs, needles, weapons or statements with personal info on them.

Clinical Trial Testing New Multiple Sclerosis Treatment to Launch in Buffalo

2010-06-28T18:25:00.000-04:00

Clinical Trial Testing New Multiple Sclerosis Treatment to Launch in Buffalo

2010-06-10T14:16:00.002-04:00

One year ago tomorrow, we lost our beloved Wags. I can't believe how much I still miss that dog.

http://estreetanne.blogspot.com/2009/06/my-wags.html

You Say Gilenia, I Say Fingolimod

2010-05-27T21:31:00.000-04:00

Still struggling with the new name of this yet-to-be-approved MS drug. I admit, it took about two months for me to properly pronounce 'Fingolimod' but really, people, Gilenia?! I'm sorry. It still sounds like a gynecological infection.

Anyway. Speaking of Gil [can't nickname it 'G' because there is apparently an illegal recreational drug called that], my favorite blogger Jeri has posted a Novartis press release announcing the FDA is extending their review period from June to September. That kind of sucks, but better safe than sorry I suppose.

Also today I got an email from the study nurse here, reminding me of my next visit on June 2nd. That'll be #11. Not sure why, but it feels like I've seen them more than that! Well, no matter. This is going to be an easy one. Labs and some neuro tests (oh boy, MATH!!) which should take less than two hours.

I told her it would be very cool if they had a check for me. The one they promised if I would undergo a cardiac ultrasound. Which I did. Three months ago. Good thing I'm not holding my breath on that!

A trip down memory lane

2010-05-25T16:17:00.002-04:00

Since starting my Reliv business, I've been reconnecting with people I haven't spoken to in quite awhile. Two of those people were born and raised in Philadelphia, although they both now live elsewhere. Anyway, last night the Philadelphia Flyers earned a place in the Stanley Cup finals (that's hockey for those of you who are uninformed).

We got to talking about hockey in the 1970's. Back then, players did not all wear helmets, mouth guards or face masks. High-sticking and hooking and tripping the opponent was a normal part of play, as was a good, bench-clearing brawl. A game wasn't a game unless somebody was bleeding or had lost a tooth. And the amount of time a player spent in the penalty box was worn like a badge of honor.

Having been raised in the Buffalo area, Sabres hockey was a huge part of life. After listening to these two Flyers fans go on and on about the impending Stanley Cup victory - and the series hasn't even started yet - I got to reminiscing about Sabres hockey in the seventies. Our stars were Gil Perreault, Rene Robert and Rick Martin, an offensive line collectively known as The French Connection. On defense there was Don Luce and Craig Ramsay, both of whom lived on my street!

The Sabres and the Flyers met in the 1975 Stanley Cup finals, which boasts the only time fog almost ended a hockey game. Oh, and then there was the bat incident.

My family relocated to Atlanta in 1977. That winter, the Buffalo Sabres came to town to play the Atlanta Flames and I was so excited because it was im-possible to get a ticket to a game when we lived in Buffalo. I was devastated when my father told me he was taking my brother. I mean, seriously!!

My despair was somewhat assuaged when my dad came home from that game and presented me with a program nearly covered in autographs from nearly the entire Sabres team. Apparently, after the game in Atlanta all the fans clamored outside the Flames locker room, but hardly anyone wanted to meet a Sabre. So, the two of them were able to catch the eye of our former neighbor Don Luce and were given free reign to hang out with the whole Buffalo team in their locker room! I had teen fantasies about that until I was probably in my mid-twenties.

I think I'm going to have to figure out which cable channel here in the Deep South is broadcasting the Stanley Cup this year...

I have seen the future...

2010-04-22T00:25:00.002-04:00

...and I returned it for a refund.

Here's what I did. After dreaming about the iPad [yes I really did dream about it] and knowing full well there was no place for it in my life or my budget, I ordered one once I found out that I could return it within 14 days. I ordered it online the day before it was released. I had buyer's remorse the absolute minute I hit the Submit button but didn't cancel it right away like I should have. So in the two weeks before it arrived, I read every possible review I could get my hands on, both positive and negative.

It arrived on a Monday. UPS delivered it at 6:00pm. By 7:30pm I knew without a doubt in my mind that I'd be sending it back. Yep, it's sharp to look at and comfortable to work with, has beautiful screen resolution and the keyboard is to die for. But to do damned near anything requires additional dineros and even then it doesn't do as much as I ultimately would want. I called Apple on Tuesday and almost immediately was emailed a FedEx shipping label. On Wednesday I delivered it to my local FedEx office and on Saturday I received a message from Apple confirming their receipt and subsequent credit to my Amex card.

So, for a [relatively] small financial investment of $50 for a restocking fee, I got rid of my iPad dreams. For now. Check with me long about the time of a V3 release. This thing has the potential to rock the world of personal computing. Just not yet.

That's not my name

2010-03-03T13:50:00.000-05:00

So, prior to getting married I had decided I was going to become a hyphen. My last name is relatively short, his even shorter, no big deal.

Then I tried writing it a couple of times. Crap, what a pain in the a**. Then I listed all the places to notify - DMV, Social Security, bank, credit cards, etc. Crap, waaaaaaaaay too much work.

So I made some calls to those whom I consider knowledgeable on the topic.

Here's the result. Socially, I'll use the married surname. Professionally and and legal documents I'm going to maintain the status quo.

I wonder when, if ever, he notices.

Brain farts

2010-02-23T22:02:00.003-05:00

Okay so, my first week on these Reliv shakes has been only positive.

Brain fog is clearing
Have only napped once this week, and that was the afternoon my period started
Can walk farther before my legs give out. Not significantly farther. Just a smidge. But I'll take it!
I'm reducing Claritin and not sneezing my brains out...as much
And let me tell you about my poopies...!

A few months ago I bought in to a company called Tastefully Simple. I love this stuff and naively assumed I'd be able to easily talk people into buying some product because I am so excited about it. Then...Bo's mom came for a visit, stayed for 12 weeks and I totally let this slide. But I'm back to it and working hard on it and hope it can soon start to pay off for me.

I wish my new husband will get off his hiney pretty soon and jump through whatever a hoops a veteran needs to jump through to get some medical benefits for his new spouse.

The uber-blogger Jeri posted this yesterday about the drug study that we're both on. Exciting stuff, but I really detest what this drug is going to be called. Gilenia? Sounds like a gynecological infection to me.

Said drug study is asking lab rats at the one-year mark to undergo a cardiac ultrasound, which I did this morning. The financial incentive, while very nice, was not necessary for me, I would have agreed without it. I'm taking it of course, I'm not an idiot. It's nearly a car payment!

Hubby and I are both kicking ourselves for putting our dog Maggie through that knee surgery a few months ago...it ultimately failed and healing has been really slow. She has forgiven us, though.

I've been enjoying the hell out of the Olympics this year.

'Kay, that's the latest. Be well, everybody!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Been there, done that

2010-02-17T13:44:00.001-05:00

So yesterday I get a phone call from a neighbor, inviting me and Bo to her home on Saturday. She and her husband are "starting a new business" that they want to share with their friends. I had to decline because we already have a commitment for that night. So then she invited me over this morning for a tea party [not a Tea Party tea party, just hot beverage and muffins and fruit].

When I arrived, I see she has her kitchen table all decorated with booklets and products from a company called "Reliv". I remembered how, very shortly after my MS diagnosis in 1998, a family friend introduced me to Reliv products and I used them for a few years. If memory serves, this was from early 2000 to early 2005. Can't tell you exactly why I stopped, I think I was just bored with them.

I also remember not having a flare, being able to walk my dogs for a mile every day and having the stamina to work 55-70 hours a week at my job (!), which has not been my experience since late 2005.

This gave me pause...did I remain as healthy as I was then because that was just my disease course...or was Reliv actually helping me?

So yeah, I'm giving it another try. I've committed to 90 days. I'll keep you informed.

Hey, do any of you use Reliv? Or have you in the past? Please let me know about your experience!

A date...that'll live...in infamy

2010-01-10T14:06:00.000-05:00

This past Christmas...well, the day after actually...marked the 101st wedding anniversary of my great-grandparents, Elizabeth and Edward. They were both 23 years old.

It also was the 50th wedding anniversary of my parents, Elizabeth and William. Look at this picture, aren't they cute?

So using the same day, Bo and I exchanged our vows in 2009. Since Bo has issues with his image being posted on the internet, here are the backs of our heads (that'll show him, huh?):

It was an overcast day and too cold for me outside in a sleeveless dress! The fur I'm wearing was my mother's. And here's the ring, in it's permanent home:

And finally, here I am:

I know I don't look happy, but I really was. Honestly, I was premenstrual (hence the zits) and tired. Lesson learned: never allow pictures without lipstick.

Oh, here's the cake.

My sister-in-law surprised me with the same cake knife my parents used at their wedding! That was very, very moving. I missed them very much that day and really wished they were alive to be with us. They would have loved Bo and he them.

So, it's official. Well...almost because I still haven't mailed it to the State of Georgia yet for filing. Seriously, I can't find my stamps.

Can you hear me now?

2009-12-16T22:17:00.000-05:00

Holy shite, I can't believe I haven't posted since November 4th! The few readers I did have are probably gone to the winds, having stopped following me, deleted any links to this blog, washed this Anne right out of their hair.

I have a good excuse, really I do! Lots of them actually. Some happy, some stressful, you don't want all the gory details.

First, an update on Jim and Nita and the cat: I got a phone call from Nita the first week of December sounding all pitiful about how she was having dreams about her cat. Was it a pleasant conversation? Not really, but it wasn't what I would call ugly. I told her the cat is fine and I'm still searching for a home, but she's pretty content here. Nita surprised me (not) by saying she has no idea when they are going to get back this way to get puss. I told her - as nicely as I possibly could - that I no intention of returning the cat to her. Ever. There's not much more to add, other than they still have not reimbursed me for the vet bill. Again, no surprise.

So now, drama, drama, stress, drama, drama ad nauseum, with some light and happiness thrown in. On Thanksgiving Day and totally blindsiding me, Bo got down on his knee and proposed. We were at my brother's house and the whole family was there. Like I said, I was stunned and happy/scared, sobbing, laughing, probably blabbered like an idiot for the rest of the night, it was great. The only negative thing I can say about it is he pulled this stunt before dinner, so I have no idea what I ate. Knowing what kind of a rockstar cook my sister-in-law is, there is no doubt I had a perfect meal. Just wish I could remember it.

So anyway, we're getting hitched soon. I'll tell you all about it after, it's going to be fun. As fate would have it, we can exchange vows on a date which coincides with the 50th wedding anniversary of my (late) parents. Pretty cool, huh?

Oh, and by popular request, here's a pic of the ring. The setting is actually being replaced, but the jeweler can do the majority of the work without the stone, so I didn't have to surrender it. Soon, this guy is going to call me and I can trot down to his store and watch him put the stone in its new home. I'll post a pic of that one, too (and it won't be taken with my phone).

Just when you think you know someone...[A Long Story]

2009-11-04T21:51:00.005-05:00

I've been struggling with a recent event that absolutely begs to be a blog topic. Every time I think I've got it outlined and ready to go, something else occurs to me, then I try to add it but it only results in my practically rewriting the whole bloody thing.

I need to share this...but I also kind of want to let it go...but I kind of can't...so, here's the jist:

- My friends of over 20 years, Nita and Jim came to the conclusion they have to walk away from the mortgage payments on their condo and let the bank take it. They told me their plan about three months ago.

- A lovely relative in another state offered them a place in her home. They told me this about two months ago.

- They had a move date of October 24th. They told me this in mid-September.

- I offered to bring over breakfast on the morning of the 24th, to give them fuel for their journey and also to visit with Nita's sons whom I've known since they were young teenagers.

Moving Day
- I arrive at 9:30 in the morning. The 24-foot long truck they rented is about 75% full. Inside the house is a mess, with so much stuff still to be packed and loaded that I can't imagine how they're going to get it done.

- Nita seemed to wander around directionless and Jim was surfing the web. Nita's sons were running around, packing for them. Since I wasn't there to actually work - and they hadn't warned me how much was still left to do - I just walked around unplugging electrical things, tying the cords up all neat and organized, and placing them by the front door. Things were grungy and kinda smelly, which I blamed on sloppy housekeeping and the fact they both smoke.

- 1:00 in the afternoon, one of the sons was disassembling a bird cage [yes, they have two birds] when I realized he was going to lose his grip on a piece of the cage. While he looked at me with a face that said, "Oh, shit!" I looked down at the falling section and saw the thickest crust of old, dried bird shit I've ever seen in my life. I put my hands up and said, "I've got a compromised immune system and I'm not wearing gloves, sorry dude, can't touch it." He said something like, "Oh, no, don't worry," and "I don't want you to touch this." He meant it, he has always been a sweetie. I left shortly thereafter.

- 4:00pm, they are ready to take off but Nita calls to tell me they can't find their cat. I advised her to sit quietly in the place, by herself, and gently call for the kitty. I'm sure kitty was freaked out by the racket all day and was hiding somewhere. Either that or she ran out one of the open doors.

- 4:20pm, Nita calls again. They are on the road. Didn't find the cat. Left me a key under the front door mat, would I go by the place and see if I can find the cat, capture her, bring her to my house and keep her for a couple of weeks. They'll drive back down to get her. I agreed to do so but made it clear her cat needed to be checked out by my vet before she'd be allowed to interact with my animals. Nita agreed.

- 8:30pm, Bo and I go back to see if we see the cat anywhere. I swear to you, we entered an episode of that A&E reality show Hoarders. Garbage all over the place. Stacks and stacks and boxes and boxes of newspapers. The newspaper was what they trained their two dogs to pee and poop on. In the dining room. A bucket of water with a mop left in the kitchen. There had been some kind of an insect infestation in the pantry and by the look of it, this occurred last spring or summer, but neither one of them cleaned the dead bug bodies out. Kids, I can bore you to death with details, but what's the point, right? Suffice to say, Bo and I put on masks and gloves right away.

- 10:45pm, we're back home. Didn't see any sign of the cat, but Bo struck a rummager's treasure in their basement. Tools and home project materials that really only a guy can appreciate. Me, I found animal droppings of some kind [probably rodent] and something that looked like black mold. Honestly, I was down there less than five minutes before feeling faint and queasy and Bo had to help me out the basement door for air. It was at that moment I began referring to the place as a bio-hazard.

The Next Day
Bo was so pumped by all the cool "guy" things in the basement that we didn't have room enough to take out the night before, he wanted to go back. I didn't want to go, but he didn't want anyone to think he was a criminal or something, so I rode along and stayed in the truck. He was probably loading his goodies into the truck for two hours. Through the window, I saw the cat! So I went inside, mask and gloves securely fastened, and made sure she had plenty of food and water. I called Nita and Jim and they were very happy.

The Second Day
We took a night off. I picked up a fresh bag of litter and a clean box.

The Third Day
I stopped by that afternoon. The kitty was sunning herself in the front window but she disappeared before I got out of the car. So, I just replenished her food, gave her fresh water and set up the clean litter box.

The Sixth Day
We were not leaving without the cat. We met up with another friend of Nita and Jim's who I found out was the person who - with the help of his wife and kids - packed and loaded the moving van up to the point where it was when I had first arrived on moving day. Nita was useless and Jim was glued to the computer. Anyway, Bo caught the cat, and he and the other guy divvied up as much as they could, then we came home. I set the cat up in a relatively large crate here, with water and kibble and yet another clean box. We left her alone the rest of the night because the poor thing had been traumatized.

The Seventh Day
I called and spoke to Jim. Told him we got the cat, she was fine and had an appointment with my vet the following day. I also made sure Nita had told him that she had promised to reimburse me for the vet bill. He said absolutely, sounded happy and thanked me.

Less than three hours later, Nita calls me. She says, "Jim wanted me to tell you to just have the cat put to sleep." I said, "Why, is she sick? Or, does Jim just not want to reimburse me the vet bill?" She said, "No, of course we'll pay you, he just doesn't want to inconvenience you guys because we don't know when we're going to be able to get back there." I said, "Well sorry, I am not going to kill your cat. And unless my vet finds a fatal illness when he examines her, he won't either. So, just don't even think about it, I will make sure your cat finds a good home."

The Eighth Day
Some conclusions were reached over my morning coffee. Friends don't do to friends what they did to me. Friends of mine don't abandon their pets. And finally, I have let go of toxic situations, people, even some family members since my diagnosis. Nita and Jim are now toxic. Buh-bye.

Anybody want a cat?

Ladies and gentlemen...

2009-10-19T18:38:00.004-04:00

...Mr. Leonard Cohen. Performing at the fabulous Fox Theater in Atlanta. Tomorrow night, October 20, 2009. And one of those seats is going to have my butt in it. Absolutely a dream come true for me, kids!

Cleared for takeoff

2009-10-19T14:32:00.002-04:00

So, I had my labs redone to see how my WBCs are behaving and if I can restart Fingolimod. Everything is back to where it should be and I can start Fingolimod again on Wednesday, the 21st! Woo-hoo, I have been really missing that little capsule of joy! That means Wednesday is going to be an all day affair at the MS clinic, just like my first first dose was.

You boob! [part two]

2009-10-13T16:05:00.008-04:00

Okay, this is where it gets funny. It's about a week before my surgery and I get a call from this guy who says he's Dr. S' partner and Dr. S had taken ill, so he is going to do this lumpectomy if it's alright with me, and if I'm not comfortable with that and say no, he would understand. I think I said something to the effect of, "I assume you can cut on anything he can, so I'm fine with you, go ahead." I only asked that he come to pre-op before I'm pumped with meds so I can meet the man who will be cutting on me. He laughingly agreed.

So, day of surgery. My sister-in-law takes me to the hospital where I do all the registration stuff and get a bed in pre-op. A nurse comes in and tells me to go to the radiology department, where another ultrasound is going to be done for the surgeon to use when he goes in. I think they said something about a wire, which will leave a path for the surgeon. Yeah, yeah, OK, whatever, you lost me at "Radiology".

Some of the minutiae here is vague - sorry, it's been a few years - but I'm sure my breast was numbed, the ultrasound machine was moved to the perfect spot the radiologist wanted, and a tech moved in to hold the thing absolutely still so the radiologist could thread a wire through my breast and into the lump. Yikes, right? The description is worse than the actual event was, I promise. What I remember most about this is, I was freezing. Why do they keep hospitals so frigging cold?

So, that's done. A nurse says to me, repeatedly, "DON'T MOVE!" Now come in here, we need to take a couple of pictures." I manage to get up off the table without jarring the EIGHTEEN INCHES of wire hanging out my right breast and shuffle into this other room which contains....you guessed it...a mammography machine. Yes ladies and gentlemen, the breast that just had a wire stuck in it is now going to be flattened like only a mammogram can. While I was standing there, arm up, boob down, I ask the tech, "Does anyone else see the humor in the fact that I am not allowed to bump this wire, but you all are allowed to maneuver it into a mammography machine?!" Apparently, I was in fact the only person who was entertained by the absurdity. Either that, or she was just a cranky bitch who hated her job.

Anyway, she's done with me and can now protect the wire from jostling by....you're not gonna believe this...seriously....you're gonna laugh out loud...taping a Styrofoam coffee cup to the side of my breast with medical tape.

Now, return to pre-op where I regale my sister-in-law with the details of the trip up to radiology. We wait for awhile, so I take my glasses off and close my eyes to nap. After not too long, the curtain to my little area opens, and the. most. beautiful. man. in. the. world. enters and says, "Hello Ms. Pappas, I'm Dr. Knockyoursocksoff, I'll be doing your surgery today. Do you have any questions about anything?" I was abolutely not capable of actual speech, but I'm pretty sure I grunted out a "Nuh-uh" before he said, "OK, let's do this!", turned on his heel and was gone. My sister-in-law and I turned to one another with our mouths hanging open like a couple of fools, right? Then she leans over and whispers in my ear. "I want what you have."

Immediately a nurse comes in holding a piece of paper with two stickers on it - Red means No and Green means Yes - and instructs me to place them on my breasts to prevent the surgeon from cutting the wrong one. Being the smart ass I usually am, and not having learned my lesson with the radiology tech, I said, "EXCUSE ME, but is the Styrofoam cup and wire not enough of a clue?" Yep, she liked that. At least somebody other than me had a sense of humor.

Epilogue to follow, if you care...

You boob! [part one]

2009-10-13T15:23:00.006-04:00

So I'm reading a new post from one of my favorite bloggers, Jeri. Yes, it's October - Breast Cancer Awareness month for those of you living under a rock - and I never converse on that topic because I don't feel right about talking about that with which I have no experience. However, having always been one of those good girls who does her monthly self-exams and never misses a mammogram, I do have a boob story. And here it is:

In December of 2000 I had my yearly pelvic, pap and mammo visits (or as I like to call them, "poke, scrape and shmush"). My gyno was palpitating my right breast and seemed to be spending a longer than normal time at it. Just when I was about to ask her if she was kneading a biscuit or something, she says, "You have a lump here." My response was something like, "Well, I've never felt anything and I examine myself every month, where....?" She grabs my left hand and puts it to the ten o'clock area of my breast and holy hell, what is THAT?!?

Okay, so now off to the mammogram. I'm one of those women with lumpy breast tissue so I never get a mammogram without also getting an ultrasound, and this day was no different. Between the 934 pictures the tech took and two (!) ultrasounds - one by the technician and one by the radiologist - I was there for probably three hours. Turns out there was an "area of concern" in my left breast as well as the nasty something in my right. Blah, blah, when it was all over I'd had a needle aspiration of a fluid-filled cyst on the left side and a needle biopsy of a mass on the right.

It's funny, but I was so easily able to separate my breasts from myself during all of this. It was like my breasts had become aliens, and what was happening to them was not happening to me. But I digress.

So the radiology report comes back and my gyno calls me and says the mass in my right breast is not cancer but it is a cluster of atypical cells and if I am willing, she'd like the whole thing removed. I am absolutely cool with that, I found a surgeon, had a consult and we set a date for surgery. I can't remember why now, but there was something going on in my life that made me say, "If this isn't an emergency, I need to wait about six weeks," He was stunned, he'd probably never had a breast surgery patient be as cavalier about it as I guess I was. Anyway, it made sense to me at the time.

To be continued and it will get better I promise...

A.D.D. much?

2009-10-08T14:25:00.009-04:00

In the past 24 hours, various things - stuff I've witnessed, stuff on TV, stuff that came up in conversations - have occurred that make me think, "Hey, there's a blog topic!" Here's the rub...I forget them within about a half hour. That is damned irritating because a) is it MS making yet another hole in my brain, and b) .....well damn, I've already forgotten what b was.

So right now I'm going to write about my mood and my dogs. And how much my dogs help my mood. I've been reading a lot about MS and depression. Depression is a different thing in different people and I think it can also manifest itself differently in the same person because it is fluid. For example, after the sudden death of my father a few years ago, I got angry. At everything and everyone. I was very aware of what was going on and I took great pains not to take my anger out on friends and family. I internalized it, which made me miserable and I knew needed some counseling. Thank God my employer at the time had good insurance and I was able to hook up with a therapist for a couple of years who really helped me get my head straight. Zoloft helped, too. Things were so good it got to where I was forgetting to take my Zoloft regularly and was still feeling fine, so I just weaned myself off.

Fast forward to the spring of 2008. The Avonex I'd been on since 1998 for MS was starting to majorly disagree with me. The side effects were always there, but I'd found that Celebrex right before the injection had been taking care of the fever and aches. Suddenly, that stopped working, and it was taking two days to recover from the weekly Avonex injection. So, long story that has been well documented here, I enter the Fingolimod study and everything is rosy. Except I find I'm not particularly happy. With anything. I'm not particularly unhappy, but I'm not happy. Great, what the bloody hell am I supposed to do with that??

Speaking of bloody hell, my menstrual life (LOL, menstrual life? WTH is that Anne?) is also changing. I'm still regular calendar-wise, but occasionally an additional bleeding episode appears during the month, my PMS is off the chart and the blood itself is different (yick). My point is, are my moods related to MS or to changing hormones? Since I don't have insurance, gynecologists and psychiatrists are not an option right now. Besides, for hundreds of thousands of years, women have gone through this change of life bullshit without the help of pharmaceuticals. I'm just going to deal. The only thing I can say with confidence is that when I'm short-tempered and weepy, I think it's hormones. The apathy I think is MS. Armed with that belief, I soldier on...

Now, the dogs. Maggie and Little Bo have become my non-prescription mood enhancers. Maggie has this way of sitting down in front of me and gazing intently into my eyes that just melts me. Does she love me as much as her eyes say she does? Sure, probably, but she also knows that look pretty much guarantees a doggy biscuit. She is manipulator extraordinaire, and I don't have a problem giving in to her.

Little Bo is not the manipulator Maggie is. I think he knows we rescued him from a certain death in that stinky kennel and is forever happy and grateful. When he sees me, his tail starts wagging. When he hears my voice, either directed at him or when I'm on the phone, his tail starts wagging. When I get up from this chair after I post this, his tail will start wagging.

It's been said ad nauseum, by bloggers, authors, emails: Probably the purest, truest love anyone can get comes from their dog. Dog spelled backward is god. And if there are no dogs in heaven, I'm not going.

Watch this movie

2009-10-04T23:53:00.004-04:00

One of the joys of paying the outrageous cable bill every month is that there are seemingly endless movie channels on it. i am a real documentary hound and love it when I run across one on a gray and rainy Sunday morning. Today, was this (sorry, the link wasn't working so you're gonna have to paste it into your browser) :

http://www.littlemanthemovie.com/home.html

Beautiful, beautiful film. Find it. Rent it. Watch it. Feel it.

My stay-cation

2009-10-04T10:50:00.004-04:00

So, the boyfriend is still in NJ dealing with the momma-drama, which - as I suspected - is not at DEFCON 3. His sister needs a xanax. Anyway, this trip has totally been worth his time, because his family has been able to spend the most productive time together than they have in years and are getting all the necessary ducks in a row for their 86 year-old mother's future.

I have had the house to myself for FOUR DAYS now and am simply having a blast. No television on for 24 consecutive hours. No blow-some-shit-up shows on the Military channel. No bang-bang-kill-something shows on the Outdoor channel. Me and the critters are just chilling out. The cat and one of the dogs are both sleeping with me on the bed at night, which hasn't happened in months. This weekend has just been filled with quite peace.

As much as I love the guy, I still struggle with co-habitating, and it's been nearly four years! A long time ago, while on the phone with my grandmother trying to find out if there was something wrong with me that marriage was so unappealing she said, "Maybe you're just not the marrying kind." If I was still in my childbearing years, and had a maternal instinct greater than that of a towel rack, marriage and children might interest me. But, just like everything else in my life, I bloomed late. I was 43 when I met this man, the first relationship I'd had to last over three months. By then I'd already been living alone for over 20 years. My singleness is so much a part of who I am and what makes me me, for better or worse.

Yesterday, we were on the phone and he said he wants to buy me a ring soon. I think I screamed a little. I wonder what the world record is for the longest engagement period...

New pants (whoop-de-frikking-do)

2009-10-01T19:07:00.002-04:00

OK so it's been over two months now since I stopped smoking. Yay me and all that, but the more time goes by, the worse the cravings are. So, what am I doing about it? Well, judging from the fact I can no longer button ANY of my slacks or jeans, I am eating. A lot.

So today I accepted the fact that I need to size-up my wardrobe a bit. Not for going out or to work clothes because god knows I don't go anywhere that requires them, but for just some stretchy things. You know, track pants or yoga pants, that type of thing. So I went to Target and found three pairs of yoga-type pants. Black, blue and gray will keep my bottom half covered indefinitely. Size Large, because the Mediums I'd been wearing have been overstressed and it's time to give them a break. You know what a muffin-top is? Well, I've been at 12" pizza dough-top in my Mediums.

Oh, and my new diet? Coffee, water and Cheerios. If that doesn't get some weight off me, I may just have to hurt somebody.

Minutae

2009-09-30T18:26:00.001-04:00

On the 19th of this month I co-hosted a baby shower with two other girls for a neighbor. As of now, our only thank-you notes have been in the form of text messages. Not cool.

I'm still not over my disappointment with Jim Parsons not winning an Emmy.

Had a great time checking out as many of the new television shows as possible during premiere week. Glee and Fast Forward have now been added to my DVR schedule.

I'm so grateful the flooding that went on around here last week largely bypassed me.

Saw both Christine Lahti and Delta Burke on television shows recently. I don't know exactly what they've been doing to themselves but feel very sure it involves botox and collagen injections. Ladies...stop...seriously.

The boyfriend had to fly up to NJ today. His mom is in the hospital being evaluated for passing out...or blood pressure issues...or hip pain. The drama queen sister of his can't keep her stories straight. Never met the woman and I already know I don't like her. Hopefully he can come home Friday or Saturday.

Maggie seems to be recovering well from her knee surgery. And here I was so worried about keeping her quiet:

Six month Fingolimod visit

2009-09-19T08:46:00.000-04:00

Jeez, I can't believe I haven't blogged this yet [brain fart, brain fart]!

September 2nd was the date of my six-month visit to the MS Center to check the status of my lab rat-ness. I was expecting the usual results because September is oftentimes not a fabulous month for me. I don't think my MS likes the changing of seasons. If I'm going to flare though, I'm usually starting to feel wonky in late August and am probably on steroids by the end of September and this year has not been a problem for me at all.

Imagine my surprise - and disappointment - when my research nurse called me two days later and put me on a "drug holiday" because my leukocytes had fallen below where the study parameters require them to be.

According to this website I found, White Blood Cell Count Measures the number of white blood cells in a microliter of blood. Normal values range from 4100/ml to 10900/ml but can be altered greatly by factors such as exercise, stress and disease. A low WBC may indicate viral infection or toxic reactions. A high WBC count may indicate infection, leukemia, or tissue damage. An increased risk of infection occurs once the WBC drops below 100/ml.

I don't know where I have been, other than to say my nurse said I had to be 600 or greater to even enter the study. Six hundred whats I don't know, but I was at 180 on the 2nd. I gave up more blood last week and am at 400, still not quite enough to restart the study yet. I'll be retested in mid-October. Dammit!

Well, this confirms for me that I am on real drug. Fingolimod is known to cause leukopenia in some lab rats. The hope is it will just suppress some immune function, specifically the part that attacks myelin, not wipe the whole operation out completely! To repeat...dammit!

This area is zoned Stress-free

2009-09-10T11:36:00.003-04:00

Yes, I absolutely watched President Obama's speech last night. Yes, I have an opinion. No, I'm not going to talk about it here. There are pa-lenty of other web sites where I can talk about it. Not here, I want this little piece of the world to be a place where humor can thrive and visitors don't even need to have a full contingent of working brain cells.

It's kind of an awesome day today. While it's been overcast pretty much constantly, there has been almost zero humidity and a great breeze. I took Little Bo for a short walk and didn't even come close to overheating (yay).

The other dog - Maggie, a.k.a.Maggiedoodle - had knee surgery today and is spending the night in the doggy hospital.

Six weeks of crate confinement is in our future for her. Whoopee!

Long time, no see

2009-09-08T17:35:00.000-04:00

Honestly, I have really no damned good reason for not blogging. I think maybe it's because I'm really boring and if even I am not interested in me, why should anyone else be, eh?

Wanna hear something cool, though? I read this absolutely fan-TABULOUS book called, "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking". A neighbor of mine mentioned it last Spring and was raving about it. I figured what the hell, it wasn't expensive, I'll give it a whirl. Believe me, no one was more surprised than me when I snubbed out my last cigarette and haven't looked back. That was on July 22nd.

Here is a link [I hope] to an Ashton Kutcher interview with Jay Leno where he talks about the book. The way he describes it sounds like he's b.s.-ing, but he's not. It's crazy.

Even cooler? Since quitting smoking, my cholesterol has gone from 269 [yes, that's right, two hundred sixty-nine] to 197. While I can maybe give a statin a little credit, quitting smoking really gets the most. Primarily because I am not particularly compliant with the statin because it makes me feel kind of shitty.

THOUGHT OF THE DAY: Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it. [from an email]

Little Bo

2009-08-19T20:42:00.004-04:00

It just dawned on me I'd never introduced the new dog.

In case you don't remember - or didn't know me at the time - we lost our pal Wags in mid-June. Our other dog, Wags' lifelong companion Maggie, was very much upset by his loss. So, we started looking around for another rescue dog the weekend after Wags died.

On Day Two of our search - Day Three after losing Wags - look who we found:

He resembles Wags to an almost freakish degree. He came from a shelter near Athens, GA and was literally pulled off of Death Row on the very day we lost Wags. His previous owner surrendered him for financial reasons and gave his age as four and his name as "Bo".

Wags also was four and my boyfriend's name is Bo.

So, now we have Big Bo and Little Bo, Maggie is happy and Pete the cat is confused.

My only public comment on healthcare reform.

2009-08-19T17:24:00.000-04:00

Dear Medical Insurer,

I have multiple sclerosis.

Why can't I even get insurance to help pay for a mammogram? Pap smear? Eye exam? Mole check?

You suck,

Anne

I didn't get the memo!

2009-07-30T11:07:00.002-04:00

OK, you know, I really don't think of myself as an old hag, coot, codger, whatever, but I'm certainly old enough to notice an irritating trend. Today the topic is Tardiness.

When I was a kid (in the '60's), we lived in the suburbs of Buffalo and my dad worked at Western Electric. Mom was a nurse and I think she worked nights because I have no recollection of a daycare. After my brother was born (and started sucking up all the attention, the little bastard), my mother's cancer reappeared and I mostly remember her around the house or in the hospital. We had some really interesting sitters then, but I digress.

Anyway, somewhere in there is when I think the whole concept of time really jelled. I mean, sure I learned how to read a clock (analog, thank you) and all that. But was it around then - elementary school, which had a fixed start, lunch and stop time that I got so anal about timeliness? It's not rocket science, really:

1. If you say you'll be there at x:00, then be there.
2. If you're running late, call.

I've been noticing that since this decade began, nobody is on time for anything. Doctor's appointments, business meetings, holiday parties, performances, nothing. (And lets not even go there with the cable company.)

I'm finding that if I continue on the path of timeliness, I spend an enormous amount of time waiting for whomever it is I'm supposed to be seeing. So, I get pissed. Then I start to add five, ten, fifteen minutes on to my own arrival time so I don't have to wait nearly so long. Then one thing pushes back any other thing I might have to do later that day. Then another. Then another. And so on.

This isn't a rant, I just don't get it. How did this start, and why did we as a society allow it to continue? Feel free to talk amongst yourselves...

There are two new stars in the sky these days

2009-07-21T14:06:00.000-04:00

Two really awesome people left the world these past few days.

Gary was a guy I used to hear about from my friend Nancy several years ago. Nancy was living with her boyfriend Pat at the time and Gary was their neighbor. Gary used to tell Nancy that Pat was not good enough for her and someday she'd figure out that Gary was actually her Mr. Right. It took some time, but she did finally see the light.

Mary Helen was a dear friend and neighbor of my grandparents. My grandmother especially loved her, and seeing as how my own mother - Nana's only child - has died so young, thought of her as her other daughter. After my Nana passed, Mary Helen became a good friend to me...I only hope I was half as good to her.

I love you guys.

Moods and stuff

2009-07-14T13:36:00.002-04:00

First let me say that I've been in good spirits for the past few days. Ever since I got that rant off my chest last week, nothing has yet to ruin my internal confidence and power. Can't say anything has really changed, it must be my own attitude about things or something.

Anyhoo...just sharing my good mood.

Nothing to complain about

2009-07-11T10:48:00.004-04:00

Life has really been challenging me this week. But then again, not really. Yeah, that makes a lot of no sense, doesn't it?

See, I've been having to spend a whole lot of time on my finances this week, and it's a bit depressing. A few years ago my grandparents passed away and they left their heirs very comfortable. I mean very. Don't get me wrong, we didn't become millionaires over night or anything, but if we invested right we would have had pretty much worry-free retirements.

Since that time, my MS managed to progress to the point where I no longer have the bandwidth to hold a full-time job, so any ability to add to rather than subtract from my savings has been a challenge. I didn't freak about that initially because, like I said, there really was quite a bit of money. So, I didn't feel the need to severely curtail much spending. I didn't go out and buy a bigger house, an expensive car or take a monster vacation because none of those things is me. I put money into my home: a mack-daddy deck and hardscape in the back yard and furniture were my largest expenditures. Honestly, I'd say a total of $30k.

Meantime, the Wall Street meltdown. Really, MS or not, can anyone understand why and how things like mortgage and credit default swaps were ever thought up or allowed to happen? The only word I can come up with is "greed", plain and simple. And the economists, polticians and pundits who were advising all of us little, ignorant investors were way wrong, weren't they? Well, seeing as how bitching, whining and pinning blame isn't solving the problem, the only thing I can say is they are all bastards and I hope they rot in hell.

My friend Nancy is dealing with her husband's chronic illness which has kept him in the hospital for the past month, where he was on the brink of death a few times.

Blogger Sherry is struggling with the sudden, tragic loss of her daughter; her grief is palpable.

Me? I can still walk, my home is paid off, my nieces and nephews are thriving, my brother and sister are truly my friends, and my boyfriend is still my perfect partner. Of course I have days where I get pissy. But there is absolutely, positively no reason to whine - and if I do, I hope somebody calls me on it, k?

Where the heck ya been?

2009-07-07T12:35:00.000-04:00

So much chaos and mayhem...ok, I'm lying, it's not that bad. You know, I work extremely hard on my calendar...what needs to be done by when, medical and dental appointments, personal appointments, doggy appointments, etc.

Every day...seriously, every day, I get an unexpected phone call or email that requires me to stop what I'm doing and go deal with it. And you know what? None of these things involve someone bleeding or something on fire. They are - 99% of them anyway - bullshit. See, I'm the lucky duck responsible for my neighborhood's swim/tennis/clubhouse facility and this is the kind of crap I get all frikking day:

"My key card doesn't work!" [Have you paid your dues?]
"A group of teenagers are being rude!" [Did you tell them to cut it out?]
"Somebody jumped the fence a couple days ago!" [A couple days ago? And you'd like me to do what?]

Well, you know what? No more. Neighborhood emails and phone calls will get a reply within 12-24 hours. And do not just show up at my door without first letting me know you're coming. If something is burning or someone is bleeding or something illegal is going on, your first call should be to 911. NOT TO ME.

Stepping down off my soap box now, thank you for listening.

Since my last transmission...

2009-06-18T23:56:00.001-04:00

...some news. I'm drag-ass tired, so here are the headlines. More details will follow.

1. We're fostering a rescue dog. He's great and Maggie gets along with him so he'll be officially ours next week.

2. I passed the three-month mark in the Fingolimod study. I don't have to go back to the MS Center until September!

3. Wags' ashes were returned yesterday. Why I cremate and keep the ashes of each of my pets is a post of its own.

4. Had an interesting pedicure. That's also its own post.

OK, now I have four posts worth of stuff to write. No excuses, eh?

User error!

2009-06-12T22:18:00.002-04:00

My previous post is SUPPOSED to have a lot of cute pictures of Wags...unfortunately they're not moving over properly in Windows. Damn! Mark this as another win for Mac over PC.

My Wags

2009-06-12T19:06:00.005-04:00

Yeterday, June 11, 2009, my first and best dog lost his six-month battle with Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia. He fought like a trooper, tolerating massive combinations of drug therapies and weekly blood tests by the vet. He never balked or whined...even at the end, when he was struggling to breathe and unable to stand up long enough to take a decent poop. This is my tribute.

Wags and his sister Maggie were found the North Georgia mountains by some people who decided to pick them up and give them to a friend of theirs who was lonely and decided she needed a pup. I met them the first time when they were probably three months old.

From Blogger Pictures

As they grew up - as puppies do - the recipient decided that maybe a puppy was not such a good idea. When I heard she'd surrendered them to the Humane Society, I jumped in the car and brought them home with me. Lucky for me they had been house- and crate-trained! They loved going for rides in the car, walks in the woods, and making new friends at the dog park.

A Day With Da Pups

Wags turned out to be the doofiest dog I've ever seen. He was very smart, but never a show-off. Poor guy never would be confused with the sharpest knife in the drawer, believe me. But he was the most easygoing, mellow dog I've ever known. Never did he bark at a little kid; rather, he would stand still and allow them to tug on his ears, grab his nose, step on his paws, whatever.

Back in January, Wags suddenly stopped eating. An urgent trip to the vet and lots of bloodwork diagnosed this awful autoimmune disease. Like my own autoimmune disease, a cause can't be determined. Unlike mine though, his is most always fatal within a year of a diagnosis. We tried to get his anemia into remission and, looking back on it I think we were successful for three weeks in late February - early March.

Over the course of the past two weeks, Wags was finally displaying some different moods and behaviors. Things that usually excited him became much fewer. He stopped chasing squirrels at a full-out gallop; his bark got weak; his ears didn't perk up at the mention of "dinner"; he got tired of climbing up into the car and could not jump up onto the bed when invited.

Bo and I were able to spend Wednesday night holding him, stroking him, kissing him and repeatedly telling him what a good dog he'd been and how much we loved him. Yesterday morning he told us - in his way - that he understood what was happening and was okay. So we took him on his last trip to the vet, where the final barbiturate rendered him unconscious and allowed him to peacefully go to sleep.

The house is emptier. I miss his snore and his relentless quest for treats. And his soft ears. And his big belly, which was the greatest pillow ever. And the way he would not walk past Pete the cat unless I escorted him (Pete has a fast and hard left hook).

Goodbye, my first love. I'll be seein' ya.

Unbelievable

2009-06-05T22:25:00.002-04:00

Recently I wrote about a check written to me that bounced and some bills I paid with those funds were then returned. Today I received a phone call from a representative of the "executive office" at Capital One. They had found my blog (?) seen that post (!), looked at my account and saw that returned payments were not the norm in my record, and credited back the returned fees.

They traced me from my blog to my account, which kind of freaks me out. But even while I freak, I'm just enough of a geek to say, "Wow...cool...THAT sounds like a fun job!"

Feeling a little silly

2009-06-04T18:28:00.002-04:00

Seriously, I should have known that my family/friends/readers - most of whom can manage to put out a readable blog of their own - would know what the title of mine meant...so I've removed the lame-ass title change I spewed out the other day.

Hot

2009-06-02T08:57:00.003-04:00

Simply amazing. Everything is fine as long as I stay in my air conditioned house, right? Then I have to go outside, even for something as minor as walking down the driveway to check the mail, which usually arrives between 2:00 and 3:00 in the afternoon. By the time I get there, both hands are tingling and I'm wobbling. It's like instant. An hour ago the temperature was 64. Now it is 72. By lunchtime it will be mid-80's, by late afternoon will be about 90. God I hate the Deep South in the summer...and it has just begun.

Make up your mind, Anne!

2009-05-31T18:42:00.005-04:00

No, I do not have the "United States of Tara" disease. If anybody were to become so enamored of my wit and charm to read all the way back to my first post they'd know that my name is not really Grace, and where the title of my blog originated. Having spent countless hours in the blogsphere myself I realize, who the hell has the time for that?? Hence, a title change...or a title addendum as it were. We'll see how it goes...

Time for the weekly wrap-up

2009-05-31T12:02:00.008-04:00

Huh. This week seemed to move pretty fast. Was it the Memorial Day holiday? I don't know really...I mean, I don't have a job so all my days are kind of like a day off. Sounds better than it actually is, trust me.

A girlfriend of mine called, she and hubby (hers, not mine!) had to attend a family funeral in WV and I volunteered to keep her pup. The pup is a pocket beagle (12") named Lottie who - although she's just a tad spoiled - is a sweetie pie.

While I loved having her here and would do it again in a heartbeat, three dogs are just exhausting...especially when bladders are not in sync...dogs go out...dogs come in...non-stop...7:00am til midnight.

I received my first blog award from Webster. I think he was sick of Julie and I whining about not getting any awards. I guess the squeaky wheel does get the grease. Thanks, Webster!!

I can't say I'm disappointed that Susan Boyle did not win Britain's Got Talent. She's been pestered to death by stupid paparazzi and media commentators for like two months now, and she really kept her shit together better than most could. I've been watching online since the beginning, and I truly didn't care if she won or not, but if she didn't, I was rooting for Diversity. These guys choreographed a different performance at each stage of the competition and each one was clever, athletic and full of humor. Look at their final performance...they start out as a frikking Transformer for cripe's sake! Watch closely at how often they work together so that three of them become one. Really, really phenomenal. Besides, like American Idol, just think of all the #2's and 3's who have had significantly larger success in the long-term than did the winner. Susan is going to have a huge career for years. Speaking of #3's, I was hoping it would be these two.

I've got my crave on for an Einstein's bagel...talk to you guys later...

Really...a fundraiser??

2009-05-28T12:48:00.001-04:00

So in the mail yesterday I got an invitation for an "old fashioned carnival" thing next weekend. Carnival games, a petting zoo, clowns, bring the whole family, etc.

This event is to raise money for the MS Center of Atlanta which is where I happen to go for care now that I'm in this drug study. I have never been under the care of a group of docs who actually hold fundraisers. But I guess a lot of "MS Centers" are 501(c)'s, so contributions are tax exempt...and so officers can receive HUGE salaries. Whatever.

But, I digress...so ok, I assume every patient gets one of these invites. Now look, MS Center of Atlanta, here's the thing: not trying to speak for everyone who has MS, but carnival games?? Every day of my life is an effing carnival game. I mean seriously, you ought to see me getting in and out of the shower...oh...ummm...well, maybe you shouldn't. Petting zoo? Right...a goat nudging me could put my ass on the ground. Clown? Really...I want to be made dizzy by a perky person in a multi-colored, multi-patterned outfit with a multi-colored afro wig in my face. Nightmare, truly. And don't even get me started on the squealing kids I'm quite sure will be attending.

Thanks for the invite, I think I'll pass...

Happy happy birthday, baby

2009-05-24T22:45:00.001-04:00

On May 24, 1993 my nephew was born. This was a really, really big deal because not only was he the first grandchild, but he was The One to continue the family name, blah, blah, blah.

His parents lived in another state then, so when he was about six weeks old I drove up to meet him for the first time. He was heart-stoppingly beautiful and I felt a depth of love in my heart unlike anything I had experienced before. For the first time in my life I'd met another human being for whom I'd give my life.

By the time he was about two, my brother had gotten transferred back to Atlanta, so I've been able to watch that little kid grow into an amazing young man. He's handsome, funny, smart, tall (thanks to the height gene from his mom's end of the pool, thank god), witty, compassionate, level-headed and will absolutely succeed in any path he chooses.

So...Christian Steven Pappas...Happy Birthday my handsome boy! I'm thrilled to know you, love you to pieces and will be here for you anytime. Anywhere. For all of my life.

Who IS this guy?!?

2009-05-21T22:45:00.001-04:00

For years, one of my favorite TV shows is always the original Law & Order. I like all of the L&O's but I'm constantly amazed at how good the writing and acting consistently is on a show that feels like has been around for seven and a half million years or so.

Anyway, last night's episode was called Skate or Die and the main guest star was a guy named Brian Gant. He totally blew me away with what felt to me like a very brave performance. When he was on the screen, I was mezmerized. I am SO keeping this ep on the DVR.

Oh my god, I needed a laugh!!

2009-05-20T19:22:00.002-04:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

You're fired!

2009-05-20T18:37:00.003-04:00

So today I spoke with two brokerage firms about moving my existing investment account - currently at Merrill Lynch, whose check it was that bounced on me - over to them. Three solid hours on the phone, I kid you not. But I am determined not to let a company which can't even manage an effing checking account, manage my financial future.

Then the rest of the day was spent on Homeowner Association tasks. Thank God I am merely a committee member and not on the actual Board of Directors. Blech.

Oh, and in the mail was a letter from the State of Georgia that I've made a mistake on my 2005 income tax return and I have to file an amended return and I owe them like $1500 .

My brain is frozen in cramp mode, I swear.

Tomorrow, Wags has his weekly appointment at the vet, then I have a Physical Therapy appointment, then I have an evening meeting in the neighborhood. I'm tired already just thinking about it.

Wish me luck. Man, am I looking forward to this week ending.

Two month visit

2009-05-19T19:47:00.004-04:00

Oh yeah, forgot to mention...today was my visit to the MS Center for my two-month check-up for the Fingolimod study. It was a quick and easy one, just had two tubes of blood taken and left them with a really pitiful excuse for a urine sample.

Now I get to start stressing about the three-month visit in June...

Stress is not good for MS, people!

2009-05-19T19:26:00.004-04:00

Oh jeez. I made a deposit in early May, which was exactly the amount necessary to pay some bills.

It bounced. Therefore, so did my payments to American Express, Capital One, the veterinarian and the physical therapist.

Has the initial deposit been resolved and made good? Yes. Now I'm doing "I'm sorry" letters and telephone calls to people and businesses who - up until now - I've had a good relationship with. In this day and age, one really doesn't want to piss off a credit card company.

Ms. Smurf gets a new ride

2009-05-17T18:49:00.006-04:00

OK so, here are more tidbits from the week:

The blue fingers have not happened since I posted about them. And now that I think about it...food doesn't seem to be bothering me quite so much these days either. To be honest, I haven't had the balls to eat a banana yet, but so far everything seems to be going down ok. I guess these are good things, eh?

Thursday was a full day. First, Wags had his weekly visit to the vet. More bad news...his hemoglobin dropped yet again. He acts fine, he looks good and doesn't show any noticeable signs that he's (really) heading rapidly toward death. The new plan is iron supplements...

After that, I took my car to the local Ford dealership because the driver's side seat hadn't been acting right. [Kind of a strange thing to do immediately after a bad-news vet visit, but I had to not sit at home staring at my dog.] I've been trying to compensate for this seat issue since sometime in April, but it's been getting to where I have to slide down so far in the seat to hold the brake pedal down, it was really getting just super-irritating. When I'm at a red light, I don't need to be drifting into the intersection because I can't get enough pressure on the brake pedal, doncha think?

Anyway, the service manager messed with it and proclaimed there was nothing wrong with it; I was like,"Yeah, right, well my legs haven't gotten two inches shorter in the past month and I'm telling you the frikking seat will not move me close enough to the frikking pedals and this car is no longer safe for me to drive, so I suggest you get another opinion." Of course, the second opinion was a service technician whose time goes for $55 an hour. Some things never change...

Anyway, since I had to kill an hour, I went looking around the lot to see if there was anything I might like to test drive. Yeah well, you know how this is gonna end, don't you? They had pretty much exactly the car I've been eyeing for the past four years. A Ford Escape Hybrid. Four doors, butt warmers, room for the dogs and well-reviewed hybrid technology. Honestly, the only thing I wasn't fond of was the color (Ford calls it Black Pearl, I say it's more graphite-looking); while not gross or anything, it just wasn't what I would have picked out if I was going to customize my own, y'know?

But, he's an '08, Ford certified pre-owned, nice warranty, fun to drive, I feel safe and the more I look at him, the cuter he gets. Anybody want some company? I feel like going for a drive...

Busy week...kinda

2009-05-17T11:59:00.001-04:00

OK, apparently I WAS in a "don't care" mood last Monday, because I completely neglected my blog, didn't I? Sorry.

I'm not going to write a long and wordy recap of the week, rather just little dribbles. Here's the first one, which isn't much but I'm still happy to share it.

I went grocery shopping. By myself. Didn't use my cane NOR one of the scooters provided by Publix.

Seriously, this is exciting!

Blah, blah, whatever

2009-05-11T19:29:00.000-04:00

Recently I find myself with an ever-growing list of things to do, but not also finding the interest to actually do them. It amazes me how much time I can piss away just making sure I don't lose the goddamn list.

I'm not depressed - been there, done that, this ain't it. I just kind of don't care about anything that remotely resembles a responsibility enough to actually do anything about it.

Lucky for me the utilities are auto-billed to a credit card, which is then auto-paid.

Happy happy joy joy

2009-05-08T09:53:00.002-04:00

These are the sweet faces I wake up with each and every day. Really, how can I claim to ever have a bad day, eh?

Whirlwind weekend

2009-05-03T21:08:00.004-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I met a gal (on Craigs List!) who was looking for someone to share a ride from Alpharetta, GA (my fair city) to Richmond, VA (my favorite city) for a quick weekend trip. She had some real estate business to take care of, and I have a very close friend who I don't get to see a lot of, so a deal was struck.

Yesterday morning we met up at 6:00am and started driving. Mapquest says this is something like a 550 mile drive, which should take something over 9 hours. When I drive myself, it takes me probably 10 hours because I like to not be in a hurry and take lots of breaks. Even with trying to make it as easy on myself as possible, it's just not something I can do solo anymore (thanks, MS).

The drive itself was uneventful. She - I'll call her L - did most of the driving, giving me the wheel for about an hour in NC. Girlfriend drives like a bat out of you know where, and we arrived at almost exactly the 8-hour mark!

Anyhoo, we met up with my friend of 30+ years, Cathy, who toted me over to her beautiful home in Montpelier, 15 minutes north of Richmond Proper (check out the new barn and stables in her front yard),

where I was greeted by her horses, Man, Diamond and Radar (the only one who tolerated my camera).

Of course it started pouring down rain, so I couldn't get pics of the pasture and the house, dammit. Well, we chilled out, gabbed, messed with the cats, Peej, Mao, Leo and Louis for a couple of hours, then showered and headed out to dinner at my favorite Richmond eatery, The White Dog. Check out that menu!! Tip: Tell all the restaurant staff you drove eight hours to eat there, they might give you free dessert.

OK, back home at 11-ish, a little more yapping, in the bed at midnight. Slept like a dead person and up, bright and bushy-tailed at 7:30. Breakfast, coffee and more yapping, met back up with L at 10:50 and on the road home at 11. We drove to Charlotte with no stops, then I got about a 45-minute break when L deposited me at a Jack in the Box while she ran a personal errand. Back in the car, one stop to refuel and we arrived back home at about 7:30 this evening. Honestly, if it hadn't started monsoon-like raining as we got closer to home, we would have gotten home about a half-hour sooner.

Now it's 10:00pm and, somebody stick a fork in me, I'm done. What fun, what fun, what fun!!

Just Call Me Grace

An Open Letter to Raymond

Is this ADD? Or menopause?

Oh Damn, I Am Such a Slacker...

Is it Autumn yet? Please?!?!?

I read it on the internet so it must be true. Right?!?

A Facebook Funny

Ran Across a Word I Used to Know and Forgot I Ever Knew It Let Alone Used to Use It Regularly

Speechless

The Bacteria and the Traveling Lump

I'd Rather Have MS than Children.

I Got Nothin'

A Message to Facebook-ers

Do you *really* want to get married?

Wait. What?

Whatever, Who Cares

Brave? Me? Not hardly!

Lookee what I did!!!

Today's dilemma and a question

I can't even come up with a title!

If you have an answer already, don't ask the damned question, ok?

He Says/She Says

Talk of the dog

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

Memorizing my life's trivia will not win you a prize, so don't bother.

I've Got the Music in Me Today

Are You Serious: I May Never Be Allowed Back In The UK Again

Spring is almost here...

Monday Cuteness

Over It

How I spent my weekend

Sensation Seekers?

I'm in Love

I Just Can't Make This Sh** Up

Way too much excitement, thankyouverymuch

I Even Bore Myself.

All is well

North Point's iBand - A Must Watch!!

The Braniac has Left the Building

Test results...

This is a test. It is only a test.

Thankful.

Not appealing

Just not feeling it. [Lots of f-bombs]

Just because.

You can go now, thanks for stopping by.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one (some cussin' in here)

Germy germs

I'm baaaaaaaaacccckkkk!!!!

Noteworthy events

Meltdown

Clinical Trial Testing New Multiple Sclerosis Treatment to Launch in Buffalo

You Say Gilenia, I Say Fingolimod

A trip down memory lane

I have seen the future...

That's not my name

Brain farts

Been there, done that

A date...that'll live...in infamy

Can you hear me now?

Just when you think you know someone...[A Long Story]

Ladies and gentlemen...

Cleared for takeoff

You boob! [part two]

You boob! [part one]

A.D.D. much?

Watch this movie

My stay-cation

New pants (whoop-de-frikking-do)

Minutae

Six month Fingolimod visit

This area is zoned Stress-free

Long time, no see

Little Bo

My only public comment on healthcare reform.

I didn't get the memo!

There are two new stars in the sky these days

Moods and stuff

Nothing to complain about

Where the heck ya been?

Do you really want to get married?